For those who don’t know, Slope Day is a cherished Cornell tradition in which the Cornell community celebrates the end of classes by killing as many brain cells as possible through binge drinking.
C.U.’s administration would have you believe that Slope Day is nothing but a horrid descent into chaos and anarchy. But they’re wrong. Slope Day is great because it’s all about unity. It’s the one day that almost everyone — regardless of race, creed, or religion — bands together behind a common cause. Granted, that cause is to get piss-ass drunk, but it’s still a nice change of pace.
And hey, even if you’re not into numbing your brain into oblivion with alcohol, what’s more entertaining than seeing your TA stumbling around the Arts Quad ranting about stuck-up professors?
Just be safe. The E.M.T.’s waiting on the edge of the festivities would be more than happy to spend the day standing around with nothing to do.
Here’s the schedule of bands for Friday’s SlopeFest, the non-alcoholic alternative to Slope Day, on West Campus:
12:00 Cornell Steel Drum Band
1:00 Poetic Alchemy
1:30 Sunny Weather
2:30 Nada Surf
Archived article by Matt Chock