Like many Cornellians, I spent last Saturday morning in a windowless room in the law school taking the LSAT. Four hours of sitting in a chair taking a test that will potentially affect the rest of your life can be a real drain on your mind. So instead of today’s regularly scheduled column, I present to you the L Sports Aptitude Test (unfortunately, there is no appropriate word that starts with “L,” so I will leave it blank).
Directions: For each of the following, read the short paragraph and then answer the question below.
1. The Oakland Athletics missed the playoffs for the first time in five seasons. With its “Big Three” of Mulder, Hudson, and Zito pitching against the Angels in the final three games of the season, the A’s dropped two of three to finish one game out of first place. Clearly, GM Billy Beane’s Moneyball tactics failed miserably.
Which of the following is an assumption on which the argument is based?
(A) Moneyball should be considered blasphemy.
(B) The underlying theories of Moneyball do not apply well to a short series.
(C) I have not read Moneyball, but Billy Beane should not pay people to write books about how great he is.
(D) Mulder, Hudson, and Zito have lost their edge.
(E) Maybe you need a solid closer after all.
2. Gary Sheffield and Barry Bonds were good friends. Sheffield stayed at Bonds’s house for a few weeks before the 2002 season to train with him. The two did not get along, and Bonds eventually stole Sheffield’s personal chef from him. Therefore, Bonds has taken steroids. The reasoning in the above argument is flawed because
(A) It fails to consider the possibility that Sheffield secretly injected Bonds with steroids while Bonds was sleeping.
(B) It assumes what it sets out to prove.
(C) It assumes without warrant that if Bonds is an asshole, then he must be taking steroids.
(D) It fails to consider that Bonds will win the MVP again.
(E) It relies on stereotypes instead of presenting facts.
Directions: Read the following passage and then answer the subsequent questions.
Despite the improvements to this year’s hockey ticket line, several new systems are being considered for next year’s. Instead of simply showing up at a certain time to get line numbers for season tickets, students will face one of three arduous ticket-distributing processes. They will also only be able to buy general admission tickets for single games.
The first option is to adopt Duke’s basketball ticket distribution system. While students at Duke wait in plush tents provided with electricity and internet, Cornell students would have to wait on the Robert Trent Jones Golf Course and in the Vet School parking lot.
In the second option, students will face each other in Greco-Roman wrestling matches. The tournament will be round-robin style, and the students who finish with the best record will be awarded the highest line numbers. In order to prepare students for this arduous process, Cornell’s P.E. department will be offering wrestling classes next semester.
The last option will capitalize on the country’s poker craze. Students will enter a $10,000 No-Limit Texas Hold ‘Em tournament, and the winner will be the first one allowed into Lynah Rink before each home game. Satellite tournaments will be offered daily at every dining hall, and the Main Event will be played in Newman Arena.
3. The passage implies which of the following about the second ticket line option?
(A) It is the best way to distribute tickets in the future.
(B) It is a barbaric and unfair method.
(C) All Cornell students are currently able to wrestle effectively.
(D) Gene Nighman ’81 will be the official for the matches.
Cornell has bought sufficient insurance to cover the expected injuries from this distribution method.
4. What is the main idea of the excerpt?
(A) Waiting for season hockey tickets at Cornell is an annual rite of passage enjoyed by many students.
(B) Allowing students to buy season tickets is an effective ticket distribution method. (C) Despite the success of the 2004 ticket line, the ticket office will institute one of three laborious ticket distribution processes to test the Lynah Faithful.
(D) Students are willing to spend days in line and hundreds of dollars for hockey tickets, yet sparsely attend the other FREE Cornell sporting events.
(E) Cursing should not be allowed in Lynah Rink.
Students A, B, C, D, E, and F have three line numbers in the hockey ticket line. The line lasts three days, and one student can hold two line numbers. The following conditions apply: Each student must wait at least one day.
A and B cannot wait on the same day as each other.
If C waits on the second day, then D waits on the third day.
E waits on the third day.
5. Which of the following is an acceptable schedule for waiting on the line?
(A) First Day: A, B; Second Day: C, F; Third Day: D, E
(B) First Day: A, E; Second Day: D, F; Third Day: B, C
(C) First Day: C, D; Second Day: B, C; Third Day: A, D
(D) First Day: A, C; Second Day: F, B; Third Day: D, E
(E) First Day: A, D; Second Day: C, B; Third Day: E, F
Jonathan Auerbach is a Sun Staff Writer, I Never Kid will appear every Wednesday this semester.
Archived article by Jonathan Auerbach