November 22, 2004
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
| November 22, 2004
I must confess that I don’t watch the TV version of Spongebob Squarepants. Nothing against the yellow, bulgy-eyed bastard; it’s just I basically don’t watch any television show that isn’t SportsCenter, The OC or Skinemax. But I haven’t put out a review in close to a month and when offered the chance to see this dude on the big screen, well I took it.
So apparently, Spongebob works at a burger joint underwater in Bikiniville or Bikini Land or something. The point is there were no girls in bikinis there so I want to sue the creators of the film for false advertisement. But what Bikini Town does have is Spongebob’s hilarious starfish friend, Patrick, by far the highlight of this film.
For not being a Pixaresque animated film in terms of having advanced technology or possessing a unique plot that happens to appeal to all ages, Spongebob held his own for 90 minutes. This is a movie that, if you’re neither seven nor a huge fan of the series, is simply best viewed on a Saturday night right between pre-gaming and going to the bars. Weed and/or intravenous narcotics could help as well.
Sitting in a theater on a Sunday evening still recovering from the weekend, surrounded by dozens of little fuckers screaming each hero’s name a dozen times before their parents realized they hadn’t given them their Flintstones pill … well, perhaps it just wasn’t the right environment.
Albeit, there aren’t many successes in a genre that brings animated television shows to the big screen (although there was a preview for the live adaptation of Fat Albert!), Spongebob comes directly from the creators of Rocko’s Modern Life — which was by far the best show to ever come out of Nickelodeon since Salute Your Shorts.
The humor of Spongebob is comparable to Rocko. The only scene in the entire movie when the humor went dry was when the characters actually left the sea and went on land. I know, I’m a pun-y one. I’ve been told by an accompanying friend that while the movie’s pretty good, the show is a lot better. I could see it. And I could see myself watching Spongebob someday. But for now, it’s going to remain sports, Seth, summer and sex.
Archived article by Dan Cohen
Sun Staff Writer
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November 23, 2004
2004 was a memorable season for the men’s soccer team, but unfortunately for all the wrong reasons. Finding its rhythm only at the end of the season, the Red struggled to a record of 1-14-1 (0-6-1 Ivy), setting a new single-season record in losses for the program. “It’s hard to swallow,” said head coach Bryan Scales. “It’s been the worst season that our program’s had in decades. Ultimately we’re in the results business. We’re here to win championships. When you play as poorly as we’ve done this year, everything needs to be evaluated.” The beginning stretch of the season was marked by inconsistencies and lapses against non-conference opponents. While playing brilliantly for stretches, the Red struggled to convert chances into goals, failing to sustain a high level of play for a full 90 minutes. Opponents were able to capitalize on these lapses, often scoring in the early minutes of a game to put Cornell a hole. After its first five games, the Red was left with five losses to show for its efforts. It took a road trip to Oregon for the booters to get their first and only win of the season. Playing in his home state, sophomore Nick Leonard slammed home an overtime goal against Gonzaga to give the Red a 1-0 win. Leonard led the team in scoring this season with five points. While the victory was a boost coming into the Ivy League season, Cornell ran into the same problems it faced early in the season entering league play. Despite dominating games for long periods of time the Red could never quite push itself into the win column. Cornell looked the strongest in its final three Ivy matches against Princeton, Dartmouth and Columbia, but it could never find the goals to produce the results. The closest the Red came to victory was a tie against Princeton the night before Halloween. Against the Tigers, junior Kuda Wekwete scored on a neat chip over the Princeton keeper to give Cornell a 1-1 tie. “To be a championship level Division I soccer team you have to be able to score goals and prevent goals from being scored,” Scales said. “The bottom line is we scored seven and gave up 39 or 40 and that’s a recipe for disaster.” Cornell’s seven goals scored were the least in the Ivies, while its 39 goals allowed were the most. Of the Red’s seven goals, all but Leonard’s tally against Gonzaga came after a goal by opposing teams. For Scales, the biggest factor in those statistics was the lack of a game-changing player for the Red. “Ultimately, I didn’t think we had the game-breakers or the playmakers that we needed to get the results in our league,” Sclaes said. “Those are the guys that, when push comes to shove in the big games, they want the ball. It’s like a good quarterback or a point guard. Everybody looks to that guy to be the man.” Looking back, there were many encouraging moments in the season. Freshmen Jarid Siegel, Evan Smith, Aaron Vieira and Kyle Lynch all made considerable contributions in their rookie seasons. Senior tri-captain Scott Palguta was a leading playmaker for the Red and was selected to the All-Ivy second team for his efforts. Juniors Papi Seye and Wekwete also proved to be a dangerous offensive combination for Cornell in the final games of the season. Such performances are encouraging to Scales for the next season. “I fully expect that when the guys return from Christmas break, we’ll have a group of guys that will be ready to roll up their sleeves and get back to work and start to forge a new identity and turn things around for 2005,” he said. Archived article by Paul TestaSun Staff Writer
November 23, 2004
Enter Trish Klein, stage left: brown, scuffed-up boots nearly hidden by the bell of slate-colored work pants, a skin-toned, lace-up-the-back tank top, unshaven armpits, long blonde hair strung partially up, sharp yet fair features and a guitar. Now enter Allison Russel, stage center: shin-high, heel-less black boots seen through the slits of a long, fitting jean skirt set to match a scooped-neck red and black tank top, dredlocks tied neatly back, a relentless smile, a clarinet and a voice to make you cry. Enter finally Diona Davies, stage right: black, ass-kicking boots touched lightly by barely boot-cut Levis, bralessness covered by a black tee, cropped black hair and a fiddle. Thus Po’ Girl takes the stage at The Chapter House on Thursday night. Trish is worried about the sound. She asks for volume adjustment, looking out past the audience to the sound-board manager. She tests her guitar again. Not loud enough. And they can’t hear each other. They can’t start yet. The sound isn’t right. We’ll be right back, Trish says half-frustrated, half-rapt in tuning and re-testing. Allison smiles, hangs her head a bit. Diona laughs and shrugs in an Oh-that-Trish kind of way. They start the set minutes later, and most everyone in attendance is unbothered by the delay. In fact, many of us seem not have noticed at all; rather, the place brims with our unconcerned conversation, our back-to-the-stage barroom chatter. It seems, as Trish fiddles with her strings and calls back to the sound manager, that Po’ Girl’s music-to-come will be of secondary importance. And so I think, intrigued by Trish’s perfectionism: Why does it matter so much? Why does she care? Almost immediately after they start, it becomes clear why Trish was so concerned with the sound quality, why she didn’t look around at the crowd and think, “They won’t care anyway,” why all three of the women cringe a bit when the microphones feedback — Po’ Girl’s music is serious, and it’s intricate, and it’s skillful. Every riff, every melody, every lyric is important to it. Trish not only seems to know this, as she refuses to launch the set with imperfect sound quality, but she’s willing, at the expense of a few buzzing minutes, to make us wait for it to be fixed so that the audience will get a proper representation of what Po’ Girl can do. Though they are not interested in being boisterous, Po’ Girl does not want secondary, or filler, or any other band providing background music for inattentive bar-goers. What they are interested in, as we come to know not more than two songs into the set, is getting us to enjoy their unexpected sound, helping us to appreciate the traditions — namely, folk and jazz –out of which it has come, and, above all, compelling us to dance. They open with a series of songs from their new album, Vagabond Lullabies. Capturing the same energy and atmosphere of their quietly acclaimed first album, Po’ Girl’s new songs retain the nostalgic feel for which they are hailed: Allison’s voice is as sexy and seductive as any jazz singer’s, and Diona’s fiddle infuses the music with pure folk. And, for a moment, Po’ Girl’s unique sound throws us all off. Some of us turn around from our conversations, and some of us begin to sway just slightly. Then some of us put our glasses down on the speakers, freeing up our hands. Conversation begins to trail off, and a number of people make their way from the bar and from the benches up close to the stage. By the time they perform a beautiful revision of Wilco’s “Jesus, Etc.” the band has us enraptured. We’re all either dancing or smiling or staring in admiration at three stunning and stunningly talented young women on stage. At the set’s climax, Po’ Girl does manage to get the rest of us dancing. For their encore, they invite back to the stage the opening band, The Shiftless Rounders, a wildly innovative folk-country band. Together, the two bands, squeezed onto the too-small stage, cover Woody Guthrie, and the place erupts. Couples grab each other and start twirling, those sitting on the back benches rush to the floor. We all begin singing and jumping, causing more than one set-down beer glass to fall from its table and shatter. We went mad for them; they had completely won us over. Like they — Trish, as she called out more volume on the guitar; Allison, as she squatted to the ground to sing her Billie Holiday tribute; Diona, as she placed her bow between her knees and played the fiddle upside down — knew they would. Strong, confident, and talented, Po’ Girl’s performance, like a long nighttime drive or dancing so hard you make the tables jump, was magically refreshing. Archived article by Lynne FeeleySun Staff Writer