Like everyone else on this campus, I was truly disappointed to read Alex Linhardt’s article on the H.M.S. Resolute entitled “The Presidential Desk,” published March 3, 2005. Actually, I was disappointed that The Sun would even allow an article to be written on the H.M.S. Resolute. Granted, it might be a little obnoxious and even against Sun policy to call out a writer by name and publicly eviscerate him. But 775 words about a freaking desk!
Dammit, Alex, trees around the world are dying every day, and you waste that much space on a finite resource such as paper? What, do you think paper just grows on trees or something? Already limited in my space because of Linhardt’s bloated verbosity and his monotonous exegesis of the history of the H.M.S. Resolute, I’ll try, in the interests of brevity to compose my complaint in a concise and intelligent fashion: WHY WOULD YOU ACTUALLY TAKE THE FUCKING TIME TO WRITE A FUCKING ARTICLE ABOUT A FUCKING DESK!?
I don’t care if it’s the desk that the president sits at — hell, I don’t even care if it’s a desk carved by God itself — do you really think that writing about a desk will interest anyone? To be honest, I feel bad about coming down so harshly upon one of my associates. But in my time at The Sun, I’d like to believe that I’ve always upheld the journalistic ideals of truth, objectivity and social relevance.
As a writer, I know that the student population wants to read articles about something — articles that have greater, deeper meaning, articles that don’t read like the author forgot he had an assignment that day and scrawled out some incoherent, rambling, and overtly profane piece of trash journalism in 15 minutes. No, I always cherish the small plot of space that this fine paper provides me, and like my ancestors, I till it with pride. I only wish I could say the same about my fellow staff members.
Without even considering the philosophical, ethical and moral issues surrounding a 775 word article about a desk, the article is devoid of any truth at all. Linhardt asserts that Dick Cheney has “drawers and other compartments.” Well, I Googled “Dick Cheney,” and it turns out that this is completely false.
Even worse, this article appeared in the Arts section of the Sun. And as its nomenclature would denote to the perceptive individual, the articles in that section should be about arts and entertainment, right? Needless to say, as a long-time member of the Arts & Entertainment staff, I’m disappointed that Linhardt and my own editor allowed this article to run.
A newspaper should be the watchdog of the public — an ideological hammer thrown into the propagandist machinery of the government. This world is in a state of crisis — important shit is going down — and it’s hardly appropriate to waste such precious ink on a desk. The Oscars just occurred! Brad and Angelina have something going on! Snoop Dogg is coming to campus! There are real stories out there, and for such an esteemed journalistic institution as The Sun’s Arts page to completely ignore them is appalling.
In truth, I can scarcely articulate my disgust over The Arts section’s perverse journalistic practices, and am ashamed to be part of a section that so recklessly insults the reader’s intelligence. I can only hope that such a senseless, offensive, obtuse, angry and utterly moronic piece of writing never again appears on this page.
Archived article by Zach Jones
Arts and Entertainment Editor