By
April 13, 2005
Bloc Party, “Silent Alarm” Fashion influences music. Music influences fashion. And every now and then an album comes along that kicks the absolute crap out of both. This would be one of them. Bloc Party, a London-based rock group, is the latest and greatest act to be signed to the Williamsburg hipster label, Vice Recordings. Their debut LP, “Silent Alarm,” is without a doubt the urban anthem album of Spring/Summer ’05. In a time when every asshole band is attempting to be “the next Strokes,” fashion stylists, marketing camps and artists have lost sight of real rock in an attempt to create mass market images. (Whatever happened to original rock style?) Hence, the genius of “Silent Alarm” doesn’t lie in its crisp packaging or near-perfect production, but rather the gritty, gully sound of four “blokes” who know how to play an instrument or two and move a crowd. Driving beats, raw vocals, clashing rhythms and layered textures — this is the kind of music that will be inspiring Marc Jacobs, super models, Converse kids and your mom for the next few months. (Hey Cornell Design League: Buy this album and be inspired.) Shane’s World Productions, College Invasion Series For those of you who are not porn connoisseurs, “reality smut” has become the latest and greatest thing to hit hard drives and DVDs. Sure, there are “reality” series such as MILF Hunter (props to Sean and the CF Group) and Bang Bus, but the girls being pile-driven in the back of vans and laundromats were “hired guns,” not random girls you may pass on the street. Fans demanded better and Shane’s World Productions answered. (Amen.) Filmed at actual college frat parties, “Shane’s World: College Invasion,” brings professional porn stars to university campuses to produce undergraduate sex flicks. The actors and actresses take over fraternities like bar mitzvah MCs, leading crowds in games such as dildo ring tosses, before finally humping incomprehensibly drunk students at the parties — on camera. Is this some sort of sick joke I’m trying to play on you? — If you don’t believe me, ask the brothers of Phi Kappa Tau at U. of Cali’s Chico State campus who were kicked off campus for allowing the production company to use their house as a film set. (But if there was ever a way to get kicked off of campus for something, this has got to be THE FINEST way to go … assuming none of your brothers want to become congressional leaders one day.) MovieBank I don’t like ignorant people. (If you’ve been reading this column for a while, you’ve probably figured that one out already.) I also like instant gratification. (If you read the previous “new style” item, you’ve probably figured that one out as well.) Thus, three cheers for MovieBank: the first ATM-style kiosk where one can rent movies instantly for less than a buck. The system, which requires users to operate a small, DVD vending terminal, allows city dwellers to rent movies on-the-fly with or WITHOUT a membership card. No more pock-marked movie store employee faces to look at. No more waiting for Netflix to send you the next vid on your “playlist” in the mail. Now bachelors can find the nearest terminal (currently NYC metro area only), select their favorite, horrible romantic comedy, pickup some takeout, throw it on some clean plates, cuddle up with their hot date in their tiny, over-priced studio apartment and call it a date. When you’re done and ready to hit the bars, you can drop off the flick and create your own “Hollywood ending.” Flatlinks Ask any classic, well-dressed gentleman about style and he’ll inform you that nothing completes a finely tailored suit more than a pressed French cuff shirt with tasteful cufflinks. However, ask any man who has overslept and had to deal with cufflinks first thing in the morning about the word “frustration” and he will inform you that two pieces of precious metal are synonymous with the word “hell.” (Ladies, imagine taking something extremely small and delicate and sticking it in a very tight, unforgiving hole — ok, that was a poor analogy.) However, there seems to be no easy way to get a pair of cufflinks in and out of a shirt. (Twisting your arm behind your back and writing a short essay might be easier.) So in 2000, Theo Stewart-Stand, a graduate from Cooper Union, designed a pair of cufflinks which could be “laid flat” to ease the process of inserting and removing cufflinks for the groomsmen at his wedding. Simply put, the Flatlinks have two hinges, creating two ninety-degree angles which keep shirt cuffs close. When snapped back, the Flatlinks become flat like a piece of paper and are easily removed from a shirt without damaging the material. Go ahead and buy a pair of these — you’ll be purchasing yourself some additional time with the “snooze” button.Archived article by Ari B. Cantor
By
April 13, 2005
Last season, being a gay male was, as Carson on Queer Eye would put it, “the new black.” This season, it’s being a lesbian. Previously relegated to the deepest recesses of a young male’s computer hard drive:(MyDocumentsschoolworkstufffiles
othinginhereseriouslystoplookinghappytime) or even in the more archaic location of underneath the mattress, lesbians are now seeing the light of day on television. From Britney and Madonna on MTV to your favorite primetime drama, it’s hard not to see something lesbian-related whenever you turn on the boob tube — forgive the pun. But is what we are seeing truly indicative of the acceptance of lesbians on television or merely a cheap spectacle for ratings? A few years ago we saw a veritable “eruption” of programming featuring gay males: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy premiered, Will and Grace topped ratings, Queer as Folk shocked audiences, while Spongebob Squarepants … just confused. Fast forward to 2005 and we see a whole different story: Queer Eye’s and Will and Grace’s ratings have dropped, Queer as Folk, which includes gay men and women is on its last season, while Spongebob is … still confused and confusing. With the homoeroticism of Wonder Woman, February sweeps saw a slew of lesbian appearances to save the day (a.k.a. boost ratings). To that end, networks have resorted to temporary and sometimes accidental romantic entanglements between female characters to attract viewers — mostly males the age range 0-100. Not surprisingly, this tactic is working. The Marissa-Alex tryst on The O.C. helped bolster the show’s already excellent sophomore season ratings. Although their love affair was a great ratings twist in The O.C.’s tumultuous storyline, anyone who follows the show closely knew that Marissa was destined her to return to heterosexuality with Ryan, because that is where her lackluster acting isn’t as pronounced. Also premiering in February, Queer Eye for the Straight Girl brought “jeujing” to the female gender. Instead of four gay males invading someone’s privacy, Bravo added a lesbian into the mix, Honey Labrador — insert your own joke here. Even NBC found it necessary to out Elizabeth Rohm’s character Serena Southerlyn on Law and Order, just mere seconds before leaving the show permanently. But perhaps the biggest sweeps shocker was the introduction of gay marriage in Springfield and the revelation of Aunt Patty’s homosexuality on The Simpsons. This brings up the topic of lesbian characters and actresses in Hollywood. Why must we assume that a woman, who isn’t married, barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen by the age of 30 — or at least hasn’t dated Colin Farrell — must be a closet lesbian? Case in point. Marcia Cross of Desperate Housewives was been rumored to be a lesbian, mostly due to the fact that she is near 40-years-old and yet to be married. Sure, television has come a long way from its first lesbian kiss on L.A. Law, to various sitcom smooches on shows like Roseanne, Friends and Ellen to Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s cult favorite Willow-Tara romance. Now, we have Showtime’s The L-Word, a mature, adult look at lesbians living in L.A. The show’s second season premiered last month to high praise. Although some say the show can go over-the-top with the realism of its sex scenes — hence its premium cable location — The L-Word at least tries to delve into the psyches of its eclectic cast of characters. Well-written and intriguing, The L-Word is on the completely opposite side of the lesbian curve than that of shows like The O.C., from totally ignoring the issue to basing an entire show on being a lesbian. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go. It’s not that we need more lesbians on television — though most guys wouldn’t mind the extra girl-on-girl action — instead, we need characters and story lines whose sexual preferences and acts aren’t the crux of the show. Archived article by Ed “Chong” KimSun Staff Writer