You may not have seen any of the movies but if you’re like us, tuning into the Oscars is delightful purely to see who looked fab, flab or frightening in their frocks. And the winners for Best Horror of the Year are:
Charlize Theron
I was shocked to see the usually impeccably dressed Theron strut down the red carpet in what can only be described as a Christmas present gone terribly awry. It’s painful to recall, but as I remember, there seemed to be a gigantic bow perched on her shoulder and her hips were draped in folds of oversized fabric. To top off this abomination, her hair was badly tinted an orangey hue that clashed nicely with the frumpy green of the Dior disaster she had decided to wear.
Michelle Williams
Since when did mustard become an accepted color on the red carpet? Not only did her dress ruffle and fringe in all the wrong places, but Michelle’s Vera Wang was a hue that should only be found in the door of your fridge. Her pale skin only enhanced the dress’s horrendous shade, and that, coupled with her choice of blood red lipstick made her resemble Dracula’s wife rather than an academy award nominated actress.
Reese Witherspoon
Also victimized by a dominance or Dior this year, her Disney-worthy dress resembled something that even Cinderella would refuse to wear with its over-accented jeweled ruffles and large billowy bottom. While it flatters Reese’s figure more than the previous two disasters mentioned here, she looks like she’s ready to sign autographs at the Magic Kingdom, not receive an Oscar. A little less of the sparkly ribbons and this would have been a simple but elegant gown.
Red Hot Red Carpet Couture
Jessica Alba
Despite her status as a B-list celebrity, and her inability to pick high-quality movie roles (, does anyone remember Honey?), Jessica Alba definitely knows how to choose a winning Oscar gown. Her Versace gown was a light bronze color with delicate lace detailing. It was sleek and form-fitting, and beautifully accented her gorgeous figure.
Alba’s dress allowed her to easily nab best dressed in my book (which wasn’t that difficult considering this year’s dismal array of fashion mishaps). By mixing two of this season’s hottest trends, lace and shimmery metallic, Alba definitely scored major points with this elegant, yet trendy number.
Felicity Huffman
Usually I am dismayed when stars grace the red carpet in boring, typical, and predicable black. Generally these stars don’t stand out and their dresses are forgettable. Felicity Huffman, however, stole the show in her unique Zac Posen gown. By putting a different spin on the classic black dress, Posen guaranteed Huffman’s spot on the best dressed list.
With perfectly pleated layers, and an eye-popping, plunging neckline, Felicity looked absolutely incredible. Sheer mesh side panels and ruching at the waist helped complete this unbelievably sexy, yet sophisticated look. The dress was daring (hello cleavage!), but not tacky. Posen’s creation was magnificent, and Huffman blew all of those twentysomethings out of the water. Now if only the rest of us could look that hot once we hit the ripe, old age of 40.
Archived article by Maria Panagopulos and Joanna DiCostanzo