March 16, 2006

Music That's Better Stoned

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So I figured I’d use this opportunity to discuss something that could change your life. That something is the 2006 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival in Manchester, Tennessee. Yeah, I never knew there was a Manchester in the United States, either. I barely even know there’s a Tennessee in the United States. But from June 16-18, the annual music and camping festival will be held on the beautiful, giant farm that has made it a success for the past five years.

Before anything else, I must admit that I have never gone to the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. But my best friend growing up in Crazy Ass Queens told me that the past two years at Bonnaroo were among the two best experiences of his life. Yeah, my sister recently reminded me that he used to fart on command and once, to be funny, placed a booger in someone else’s shoe, but things can change.

If Bonnaroo is to be seen as the new Woodstock, it is the glorious Woodstock of days gone by. The Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival will stage basically every band in the world that’s good. Will Creed be at Bonnaroo ’06 like they were for Woodstock ’99? No, of course not. In their place, we will experience Radiohead, Beck, Elvis Costello, Bright Eyes, Ben Folds, Medeski Martin & Wood, Stephen Malkmus, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Devendra Banhart, Dungen, Andrew Bird, Common, Sonic Youth, and about 65 more of the best bands in the world. What, you haven’t heard of most of these groups? You have no one to blame but yourself. What, I’m a contemptuous music snob? Of course I am.

Now, about this Manchester, Tennessee, “city” of 8,294 (the “city” of Ithaca, in comparison, has a population of 29,287). According to Manchester’s official website, the city places importance on “time-honored traditions & tomorrow’s technology”. Check out the design of their website at to witness tomorrow’s technology upon us. Their mantra is “Give respect before you expect it, treat people the way you want to be treated, remember the mission, keep going”. I’ll forgive them for blatantly ripping off the Golden Rule if I find out exactly what this “mission” is. My mission right now is to find $200 to pay for my Bonnaroo ticket.

Archived article by Jared Wolfe
Sun Staff Writer