October 5, 2006

Listen Up!

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There have been inquiries as to whether Overheard stars ever reveal themselves. To date, no one has been brave enough to divulge their identity to this column. I welcome you, however, to shoot me an email at HYPERLINK “mailto:overheard.cornell@gmail.com” overheard.cornell@gmail.com if you find your words coming back to you (in shades of mediocrity? Simon and Garfunkel, anyone?) in this column and wish to make a redemptory statement on your behalf. For more overheard, check out our accomplice, Overheard at Cornell at http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com, and look for Overheard every Thursday in the Sun. Keep up the good listening!

Wanna-be Jew on Yom Kippur: (9:30:27 AM): how does one go about becoming jewish?
Guy 1: Auto response (9:30:27 AM): sleeping
Wanna-be Jew on Yom Kippur: (9:31:59 AM): eating breakfast today was probably was not the ideal step 1…
– OverSEEN on AIM

Broham 1: Dude look at how much air there is in this room.
Broham 2: Dude what if they charged money for, like, air?
Broham 1: Dude I wouldn’t care, I’m not THAT fat.
*pause*
Broham 1: Dude don’t you ever just want to like throw a knife up in the air above a crowd of people and, like, see what happens?
Broham 2: Totally.
-Math Class
Middle Aged Woman: Students these days take themselves way too seriously.
Middle Aged Man: Honey, we were hippies. People don’t do that anymore.
-Wal-Mart

Gal: Oklahoma and Ohio, I always get those two mixed up.
Guy: Yeah.
Gal: Wait which one is in the middle of the country?
Guy: Ah, they both are, kind of.
Gal: Oh, well which one is a state?
Guy: Both
Gal: Yeah that’s why I get them mixed up!
-Ho Plaza
Girl on cell phone: …I mean, I almost feel like they don’t WANT to give us A’s or something!
-Slope
Bro: Hey come on, sit down.
Gal: Yeah sit down.
Drunk mess of which has just stumbled in: NO! (slams purse on table) I’M BRINGING SEXY BACK!
Bro: Oh god, please sit down.
-CTB

Girl on cell phone: No! I’m not going to be a dominatrix for him.
-Thurston Ave

Crowd of fans: Here we go Cornell! ::clap, clap, clapclapclap::
Dumb girl: Here we go what? OHHH, Cornell! I could’ve sworn they
were saying Tarheels!
-Schoellkopf Stadium

TA: So when a particle reaches absolute zero, it does not actually stop moving. It goes to its lowest possible energy level, but it still moves a tiny bit.
Student: I knew it! I had the biggest fight about this with my best friend last week.
-Chem 389 Section