December 1, 2006

I'm Bringing Snacking Back

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Three very special things happen at the end of every semester. First, our house chef Mario closes the kitchen and suddenly I have to prepare my own meals. Second, finals arrive and I have to stay alert and attentive for more than 50 minutes at a time while I study. Third, I try to finish using all of my Big Red Bucks and spend close to 100 dollars on food available at RPCC. If you think that the stress of finals and the amount of time I spend studying would prevent me from snacking, you don’t know me very well at all. Want to know how a professional snacker simultaneously studies and snacks? Well then come along with me on a study-week journey that won’t disappoint.
This is it. Crunch time. You and me. Lets do this, I’ll make a pot of coffee and dust off some textbooks. You pick up your TakeNote, put down the newspaper, call that friend who knows a guy who has a ton of extra Adderol and lets study! Wait? What’s that? Oh you’d rather have a snack? Well, according to a second grade health lesson, our bodies are like machines and machines need fuel to run. So, I guess technically we should eat before we get started.
I’ll make my world famous eggs to start the day. Secret ingredients? You bet. First crack two or three eggs into a glass and add some milk. How much milk? Enough, that’s how much. Go through the regular egg scrambling procedure but put some garlic in the pan with a lot of butter first (obviously). Just before the eggs look ready, put three slices of shredded provolone cheese and some kosher salt in the mix. Those are some tasty looking eggs. Why don’t I put salsa on top? Because salsa and eggs don’t mix no matter how many times I lose the Charlie Vs. Lee egg cook off (I’m 0-5). Ok, now that we have a full belly, lets hit the library.
Some snacks, no matter how delicious, are not appropriate for studying. In the library, loud snacks are dangerous. Chomp down too loud in the stacks and you risk getting hit in the back of the head with a three ring binder. (The worst part is that when you cry out in pain, people will give you dirty looks because you are being loud in the library). This means pop rocks are out for the next couple of weeks. Oh what’s that? You brought some pop rocks? Well, in that case, let’s go down to the café and eat them, then we’ll really hit the books.
I’m also going to stay away from snacks that make me drowsy. That means no ice cream this week. No matter how hard I try, ice cream will always make me want to take a serious nap. You know that Ben and Jerry’s pre-made milkshake you’ve been eyeing this whole semester? You know, the one sold at Jansen’s, RPCC and Duffield? Come on, it was right next to the double shots, I know you saw it. Well, don’t try it (yet). But take my word for it, it’s delicious, tastes about as good as a real milkshake and it’s from a socially responsible company which justifies the outrageous price. Well maybe if we just have a little we won’t get tired …
What time is it?! Jesus, we slept right through dinner? Ok, ok calm down. I’ve got a plan. We’ll go down to Wegman’s, eat at the Chinese buffet and study there! They have internet access, plenty of space and we won’t keep bumping into people we know. It’s the perfect place to study and while we are there, I’ll pick up some of my favorite study snacks.
The ultimate study snack is chocolate covered espresso beans. Caffeine? Check! Chocolate? Check! Man this snack has it all. It could actually be the most addictive snack there is. (Besides a fresh assorted bowl of jelly beans, before me and my sister get the guide and eat all the good ones. Have fun eating the brown, black and red ones chump). My personal favorite study snack is Clementines. I don’t take a few, I take the whole Price Club-sized crate with me to the library. I enjoy reading a textbook and trying to peel the whole thing while keeping the peel in one piece (difficult). I also enjoy putting the whole thing in my mouth without breaking it into pieces (easy). Well at this point, our test is less than 12 hours away, so let’s crack open some Red Bulls and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
All joking aside, good luck with finals and make sure to stay happy, healthy and full. Studies show that the average college student gains something like 30 pounds in the month of December, and we all know that Cornell students are above average. Have a great break.