February 8, 2007

Don’t Kid Yourself

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If the following sounds a little dated, that’s because it is. These gems were uttered way back in December 2006. I didn’t want them to be wasted, lost upon those not lucky enough to overhear them themselves. But let’s get up to date. Clean out your ears, listen to what your peers are saying and shoot an email to overheard.cornell@gmail.com whenever you can’t believe what you’ve heard. Thanks to contributions from the Overheard at Cornell blog — check it out at overheardatcornell.blogspot.com. And look for Overheard every Thursday, right here in Daze.

Student: Is “too” an adverb?
English Professor: Why do you care?
— Classroom in White Hall

Professor: How much do Mormons give to charity?
Student 1: I think they give 10 percent
Student 2: Yeah, I think Catholics give 10 percent, too.
Student 3: I think Muslims give 20 percent
Student 4: Jews give 100 percent!
— Philosophy Class, Goldwin Smith

Prof: The achievement of orgasm is mediated by food.
— Anthro class

Girl with sugarfree latte: No, you have to help me out here. I know Ruloff’s is relaxed and casual, but what is Dino’s?? Relaxed and laid-back?? Is that the difference?
— Tower Cafe

Guy 1: Dude who’s that chick Nick is talking to?
Guy 2: I dunno, but she’s really hot, maybe his girlfriend?
[Nick walks over]
Guy 2: Was that your girlfriend or somethin?
Nick: Dude… that was my mom…
—Frisbee Tourney

Frat Boy: We are Ivy League-educated men — we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.
— Collegetown

One girl to another: So long as you use the right words… “proactive,” “distribution channel” …that’s it, you sound smart.
— Outside Duffield

Neurobio/English major: Being blind would so suck … you, uh, like, wouldn’t be able to see … like, ANYTHING!
— Thanksgiving dinner

Chatty Girl: How do you donate an egg?
Chatty Guy: They stick a needle in your side and suck an egg out of your ovary.
Chatty Girl: Oh … does it hurt?
Chatty Guy: I don’t know, I’ve never had it done.
—Somewhere

Some dude: Yeah, I think I might read The Bible.
Another dude: Yeah, I started to last week, but I couldn’t get past chapter two.
Third dude: Is that where Jesus dies?
Another dude: I dunno.
— Big Red Barn

Girl1: It’s raining!
Girl2: It’s not raining… it’s like… snow-raining.
Girl2: It’s snowing!
— Outside RPCC

Older Woman: [sigh] Well, I guess that’s the last nail in the coffin.
Older Man: Don’t be so morbid.
Older Woman: Honey, it’s just an expression.
Older Man: Yes, but we can’t kid ourselves.
— Arts Quad