April 1, 2007

Koll Joins American Idol

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Sun Wrestling Writer

Few people are fortunate enough to realize their childhood dreams. But this past weekend, wrestling head coach Rob Koll did just that by making it into the second round of auditions for the seventh season of American Idol.

“This is a monumental day in the history of Rob Koll,” he said. “I have been dreaming about sharing my singing talents and rugged good looks with the world for many years now, and I am very blessed that American Idol has given me this opportunity.”

Koll — who has been an avid fan of American Idol since it premiered in 2002 — was one of roughly 300 regional finalists from across the country to be selected to fly to Hollywood for a chance to be one of 24 semi-finalists who appear on TV.

According to Koll, he rapped Sir Mix-A-Lot’s classic “Baby Got Back” to give the judges a sense of his rhythm before breaking out into an awe-inspiring rendition of “The Sound of Music” to display his vocal range.

As opposed to previous seasons in which contestants had to be between the ages of 16 and 28, the seventh season of America’s most popular show — named Baby Boomer Idol — only allows contestants over the age of 40 to compete.

Koll will immediately hand over all recruiting responsibilities to assistant coaches Tyler Baier, Cory Cooperman and Damion Hahn and might even temporarily step down as The David Dunlop ’59 Head Coach of Wrestling depending upon the outcome of the show.

“Stepping down as head coach is something I will try to avoid at all costs but at this point, I am 100 percent committed to my entertainment career,” he said. “We have only scratched the surface of what Rob Koll can do. I am also a talented stand-up comic, ventriloquist, break dancer, moon walker, craftsman, talk-show host, public speaker and — oh, yeah — was a national champion wrestler and the only four time All-American ever at UNC. How do you like them apples?”

As the head coach of the Red since 1994, Koll has been instrumental in bringing Cornell’s wrestling program back to national prominence. He led the team to consecutive top-5 finishes at the NCAA championships in 2005 and 2006 and coached the squad to its first EIWA under his tenure this season and a 12th place finish at the NCAAs.

“People are going to f@#*ing love me,” Koll said. “I am going to be America’s badass. Women will want me and men will want to be me. I wore leather pants to my audition and Paula Abdul almost fainted when I went down on two knees. America’s going to kiss Kelly Clarkson, Carie Underwood and all of those other bulls#%* pop princesses goodbye. Rob Koll is the new sheriff in town and he’s bringing back the 80s.”