The Suburban Lawn (aka grass)

Coming back to NJ for the summer, I saw something I have not seen in months: the suburban lawn. The homogenous green swaths of suburban lawn, also known as grass, are a triumph of American consumer culture.
We spray fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides and then we water so much that it all runs into the local stream. We hire illegal immigrants to mow for us while we buy treadmills because we are not getting enough exercise. If violets, dandelions, or other flowers try to contribute, the neighbors are afraid that their property values will go down.
It would be amusing if it were not so ridiculous.