Confessions of an Adulteress

It was love at first site for my Mac and me. I discovered it one day while waiting for my iPod to be fixed, again (if that wasn’t a clue for future marital unbliss, then I don’t know what is), and could not get its beautiful silver exterior out of my head. Our first few months together were the perfect honeymoon — there was nothing I loved better than my G4 (that’s right, I’m “old school.”)
That of course, wore out quickly, when she began to have problems that I hadn’t caused. She died a few times, and I died too – what could I do without my baby? Not that I’ve treated her so well myself – she has the scratches, dents and dust to prove it. But love hurts, right? But like most relationships, I got bored with her slowness, her largeness, and my eye started roaming, to newer, shinier and lighter weight models.
You know that story about the velveteen rabbit? About the little boy who loved his stuffed rabbit best, even though it was dirty, old and missing an eye? With the whole, beauty is only skin deep moral? Well, that does not apply to electronics.
Now my baby is slow, and dirty, and there are bumps on her everywhere. At times I feel guilty – I should’ve warned her that when it comes to love, I’m a bit of a rough handler. But the time will come when I somehow manage to scrounge enough money together, and out she will go for a newer, prettier model. Yes I will miss her, and remember her fondly at moments, but until then I will bitterly insult her like Robert Barone to his wife Marie.