October 4, 2007

Overheard: Office Hours? Don’t Worry, I Got Plan B This Morning

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If you hear this, or something like it, send an email to overheard.cornell@gmail.com to commemorate it for all time, right here in Daze.

Friend: You’re taking so long!
Girl on Toilet: My body wasn’t expecting such a large foreign object… it feels funny.
— Olin Girls’ Bathroom

Guy: My TA is so hot. Like you wouldn’t believe. Just the way she says “problem set” turns me on, like 90 degrees.
— Tower Road

Girl to male: So I went to (Guy’s name)’s room last night to get his lotion, and he was watching porn. Then I realized he might need his lotion more than me.
— Footbridge

Pretty Girl: Uh, I’m not sure, I have to call my mom to check.
Guy: You need your mom to tell you what you want?
Pretty Girl: No! It’s just that … she knows me best.
Guy: We’re talking about lunch here!
— Ho Plaza

Girl on Cell Phone: Yeah, I went to office hours last night … [pause] … don’t worry I got Plan B this morning …
— Tower Road

Guy: [to girl] So then we went back to her place and spent three hours making fucking chicken salad!
— Ho Plaza

Guy camped out on Hockey Line: Yeah, when you’re playing DDR, you can just feel your nuts shaking…
— Ramin Room

Dressed-up Girl on cell phone: Yeah, it totally went, like, really well. The lady was from my hometown and we went to the same, like, elementary school, and everything! We totally connected. And I think I came across, as, like, really intelligent and stuff.
— College Ave

Skinny Girl [seriously]: I wanna be a doctor, but they’re so hot on Grey’s Anatomy. I just can’t be that skinny.
— Eddy Street

Girl: Every person I’ve ever slept with says that I don’t snore.
— Oakenshields

A: So, have you been learning a lot about meteors this semester?
B: Umm … I’m taking meteorology, not astronomy.
[discussion of the definition of meteorology]
A: [after a couple of minutes, genuinely concerned] Heeey … I’m taking oceanography next semester … is that really the study of the oceans?
— Cornell

Psychiatrist: I know … all of you with your legs crossed are fucking liars!
— Game of Psychiatrist

Annoyed Girl: I have no responsibility to feed you!
Long-haired Guy: When we’re married, you will!
— Arts Quad

Girl: I’m sorry I missed the meeting, I was so sick. Seriously, I really had something weird in my stomach that totally didn’t like me.
Guy: Are you pregnant?
— State Street