November 13, 2008

Overheard: Hey, my dad should sleep with your mom, they're both loud snorers!

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State St. Diner Waitress: She’s about as useful as tits on a nun.
— State Diner

Flamboyant Boy on Cell: I need to black out tonight. I totally deserve it.
— Outside Olin Library

Math Lecturer: So I can do orthogonal vectors in 2-D … I can’t do it in 3-D … Not without being obscene anyways …
— Engineering Quad

Rebel Freshman: I slept through my first class today … I feel like a badass …
— Goldwin Smith

(In line for the Decemberists tickets)
Exasperated Girl: And so I was home over the weekend, and my sisters were back home as well, which I’m not used to. It was like when we were growing up, except now we’re huge, and I had to sleep with my mom!
Curious Guy: Wait, was your dad next to her?
Exasperated Girl: No, he sleeps alone because she’s such a loud
snorer — I’ve gotten used to it over the years.
Curious Guy: Hey, my dad should sleep with your mom, they’re both loud snorers!
Exasperated Girl: (horrified expression)
— Outside Barton

Innocent Girl:  I love it when people butter my bread for me.
— Trillium

(Nov. 5, after Obama’s acceptance speech):
Girl 1:  OMG what do you think Barack and Michelle are going to do it tonight?
Girl 2: Ewwww.
Guy: Def … She is going to be the First Laid.
— Collegetown

Drunk Guy to Drunk Girl: Your preggo is eggo!
— Collegetown

Sophmoric Girl: She only had one guy sophomore year of high school, whose name happened to be J.J.
Sorority Girl: No way!
Sophomoric Girl: Yes. Yes way.
— Ag Quad

Ph. D. Student: Not that crackwhores are necessarily dangerous — they could be totally benign!