February 12, 2009

Your Valentines Day Playbook

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I for one have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. I never understood why people felt like doing “special” things for your girl was limited to anniversaries, birthdays and February 14th. I am more of the guy who would do something on a random Tuesday and have her ask, “what’s the occasion?” and I would proceed to say, “Every day is Valentine’s Day,” … and it works. But since some of you are facing pressure and expectations of the big game, here is a set of guidelines to get you through.
Rule 1 – Stick to your game
Many men fall victim to the pressures of Valentine’s Day. With such a big deal around Feb. 14th, many go out of their way to do things they’ve never done before. They want to write a little love letter/poem but aren’t eloquent enough to say how they feel on paper. They haven’t cooked anything past bacon and eggs in their lifetime but all of a sudden, they want to cook five course meals. Truthfully on V-Day, its hard to mess up as long as you stick to what you know works. Please, take it easy and stick to your game. You ever see Shaq hit a 15-foot jumper? Nope. You ever see Ryan Howard bunt to get on base? Nope. You ever see senior center Jeff Foote take a shot from the 3-point line? Nope. So stick to your game fellas. If you can’t express your feelings in words, find a song that’ll do it. You know what works, stick to it.
Rule 2 – This is the playoffs, act like it
In the sports world, the playoffs are a time when you make a name for yourself. V-Day is a playoff game in the dating world. You can make a name for yourself with one romantically scheduled day of events. It can even save you from future failures such not returning phone calls, opting against going to see a movie, etc. So step up to the plate and perform in the clutch … unlike A-Rod.
Rule 3 – Stand out from the competition
Remember the early 90’s NBA? In those days, there were so many talents in the NBA from Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Shaq, etc. but only one player really stands out — Michael Jordan. This is how you have to approach Valentine’s Day, you can’t let the next man beat you. With that being said, talk to your girlfriend’s friends’ boyfriends and see what they’re plans are for V-Day. Where are they going to dinner? What are their plans for the day? Guaranteed, Sunday morning your date and her friends will congregate and they’ll discuss who got and did what for V-Day. You want to be the star in that conversation.
Rule 4 – Be a good GM – don’t splurge on the market
Yes, you want to stand out from the competition but don’t empty your wallet. It’s a tough world out there. There are some who are going to blow their worth for Saturday and have nothing to show for it. Operate like the Tampa Bay Rays front office. Even though they have one of smallest payrolls in the majors, it was the Rays who made it to the World Series and not the cash cows in New York or Boston. Get her a series of little gifts, take her back to the place where you met her (hopefully not a sweaty frat basement) and earn some romance points.
Rule 5 – No technical fouls
It shouldn’t have to be said but in lieu of the Chris Brown/Rihanna drama I just have to throw in a little reminder.