Cast Your Votes
Gimpy Girl: Who would want to dry hump when you can wet hump?
— Downtown Ithaca
Close Encounters
Guy (Guru): It’s my theory that they put the Engineering Quad next to Collegetown just because that’s the only way engineers would ever see girls — when they cut through the Quad on the way to class.
— Libe Cafe
Baby Mama Drama
Undergraduate Chick: And then my dad said, “What if the Virgin Mary was actually just blacked out?”
— Stimson Hall
Shoes (Not) Made For Walkin’
Sorority Girl 1: Hey how’s it going? What are you doing at the bus stop?
Sorority Girl 2: Waiting for the bus, obviously.
SG1: Why? It’s a beautiful day!
SG2: Because I’m a freshman and I wear cute shoes!
SG1: True …
— Cornell University
Sorry, Drake
Adamant Student: Slope Day is not about the music — it’s about waking up, eating pancakes and getting drunk.
— Ag Quad
All Wired Up
Engineer Girl 1: Hey, thanks for stripping for me.
Engineer Girl 2: No problem, I’ll be your stripper any time.
— Engineering Lab
Welcome Class of 2014
CALS Ambassador: Oh look, little pre-frosh! Go back to your cribs, babies.
— North Campus
Original Author: Jessica Stitt