If I had to describe college in three words, I would wisely choose: learning, alcohol and fun. Today’s column is about these three essential elements and how they combine to create one of the most ingenious inventions in humanity’s history. So without further ado, my fellow readers, let me tell you the story of FIFA SHOT. This game is dedicated to all those fans of Electronic Art’s FIFA series and to all who just want to experience the most revolutionary drinking game since beer pong was created by our fellow Ivy Leaguers from Dartmouth. FIFA SHOT is very young. It was designed this past Labor Day Weekend by my suitemate Jonathan Rubin and myself as a necessity to find a pre-game activity. And you know what they say, necessity is the mother of all inventions.Since I strongly believe in the American values of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, I will let all of you modify the game to fit your personal needs, and most importantly, I will give you my idea for free. All you have to do is fulfill a simple prerequisite. Create a pro character whose name is Jon Ruban and wears the number 27 –– in honor of former Cornell hockey forward Blake Gallagher. Why? Keep reading this column.
FIFA SHOT® CORE RULES:
1. The player who concedes a goal has to drink a shot.
2. If a player scores on his/her own net, he/she has to drink the shot that applies to rule number one, plus an additional shot.
3. If a player gets a yellow card from the referee, he/she has to drink a shot.
4. If a player gets a direct red card, he/she has to drink two shots.
5. If a player receives two yellow cards in a game with the same character (which means that the character would get a red card), he/she has to drink a total of three shots. One for the second yellow card, and two additional because of the red card.
6. If a player fouls his/her opponent inside the box, he/she has to drink two shots.
7. If the player controlling the goalkeeper stops a penalty shot, the shooter has to drink two shots.
8. If a player scores a goal with Jon Ruban, his/her opponent has to drink the shot that applies to rule number one, plus two additional shots.
9. If a player scores a hat trick with a character, his/her opponent has to drink the three shots that apply to rule number one, plus an additional shot. (Hint: use Jon Ruban, your opponent will get dizzy before he gets to that frat party)
10. In the case of a penalty shootout, rules one, seven and eight apply.
11. In the case of a knockout, which occurs when a player is winning by the score of 4-0, the losing player has to drink the four shots that apply to rule number one, plus two additional shots.
12. If a player scores a goal from a free kick, his/her opponent has to drink the shot that applies to rule number one, plus two additional shots.
13. If a player scores an olympic goal –– which occurs when the character kicking a corner kick directly shoots to the goal and scores –– his/her opponent has to drink the shot that applies to rule number one, plus four additional shots.
14. And finally, if a player retires ––like my senior friend Juan Clar did after I scored to make the score 5-1 –– he/she has to drink all the shots in accordance to the rules, plus two additional shots.
All I have to say now is: just sit back, grab a controller, enjoy, and drink responsibly.
Original Author: AJ Ortiz