September 30, 2010

KVETCH! Prelim Week Here We Come

Print More

Bad DogWTF, Brew Dogs. You infiltrate the C-Town market for drunk food, get me addicted to your mouth-watering hot dogs and now you go all CTB on us and jack up your prices already? You’re telling me that I’m going to have to fork over three whole bucks for a hot dog previously priced at two dollars? Seriously? I’m not an expert, but I’ve been told that’s a 50-percent increase! Now I’m only going to be able to afford two Four Lokos to wash down my brew dogs instead of three. — M.E.

Working GirlFuck language requirements, professors who don’t speak English, weekly response papers, attendance quizzes and being caught in the rain on the way to class without an umbrella. In fact, fuck higher education, I’m becoming a stripper. — A.K.B.

I-AnnoyingI’m a senior and I still have to carry around one of those stupid i-clicker things because of one remaining science requirement. Even worse is those annoying in-class i-clicker questions that interrupt my important daily activities, like reading people’s Facebook statuses and trying to beat the computer at chess. Screw the guy who invented the i-clicker. — C.B.

Guilt Trippin’For real, teachers who guilt trip me when I tell them I’m going to miss class because I have a job interview? Just say “okay” and let me go about my business. I have enough on my plate with you making me feel like a bum. — A.E.

Street CrosserTo those who do not look at the oncoming traffic before they cross the street, learn how to look both ways before letting your left foot strike the paved road. Behold! If a car is 25 feet away going 30 miles an hour, do not put your head down and cross the street. Restrain yourself good fellow, hold your head up high, and look on in deference at the vehicle’s superior physique. — M.S.