It’s over. You and your housemates threw the party to end all parties last night. The pong balls were flying, the playlist was perfect and the costumes were falling apart. But that was last night; today you must face reality and wade through the mess to find anything bread-based in your kitchen in hopes of curing your hangover and somehow, you have to clean your house before your landlady comes by looking for her cat and decides to evict you for failure to meet basic health standards.Somewhere in the middle of this lazy process, you realize that it feels like you are living in the movie Animal House and something needs to change! Of course it is time to give up alcohol forever (again)! No more hangovers! No more vomiting in bushes! No more hooking up with …! Not to mention all the money you’ll save: “Hey, I quit going to Dunbars every night: $50 in my pocket every week!” RL ’10.This, my friends is not the answer. How many times do you have to give up drinking before you give up on giving up drinking? The real solution is to “Drink smarter, not harder!” This motto is something to live by both in college and once you get out into the real world. Right now, this may mean limiting yourself to just one or two Four Lokos or skipping some of your preprandial drinking before you go out. But in the future, there is a lot more to drinking culture than they teach in wines.A recent study showed that just holding an alcoholic drink makes you look dumber. How are we to overcome this in interviews and other formal situations that arise once we graduate? By drinking in a sophisticated manner. When ordering your drink of choice, make sure it is a common enough drink for the bartender and those around you to know what it is. Also make sure the appearance fits the occasion in terms of color, crazy garnishes, presence of fire, etc. During a cocktail hour or before the meal, it is more appropriate to drink dry cocktails that bring out the taste of the liquor ingredients, while after dinner cocktails are much sweeter and have less rules. At classy events, you want to avoid the overtly exotic drinks– save those for a night at the bars where you aren’t trying to avoid embarrassment. Just remember to drink smarter, not harder!Before Dinner Cocktail: Dry Manhattan2oz Rye or Canadian whiskey1oz Dry vermouthDash Angostura bittersLemon TwistStir with ice and poor into a chilled glass, add the twist. You will want a fairly large lemon twist to get enough flavor.Before Dinner Cocktail: Mexican Sidecar3oz Patron Tequila1oz Grand Marnier2 fresh lime wedgesThis is a premium, stripped-down margarita. Squeeze the juice from one of the lime wedges (~1oz juice) and stir it with the Patron and Grand Marnier poor into a chilled glass with a salted rim and garnish with the other lime wedge.After Dinner Cocktail: White Russian2oz Vodka1oz Kahlua1oz CreamCombine the vodka and Kahlua in a glass and layer the cream on top. Serve with a straw to slowly mix it. I personally prefer to swap the cream with milk to make it a little healthier. Also try the White Russian Shot: vodka, Kahlua, and Irish Cream in a shot glass.After Dinner Cocktail: French Connection2oz Cognac2oz AmarettoPoor into a brandy sniffer with ice cubes, stir gently and drink slowly.
Original Author: Ben Bissantz