As the children of a dietician, my sisters and I were never able to enjoy the finer things in life, like Dunkaroo’s. Or Cap’n Crunch. Or Fruit by the Foot. Or, the junkiest (read: best) of all junk food, Reese’s Puffs. We did, of course, experiment with the narcotic that is high fructose corn syrup in large quantities during visits to our Nana’s house, but that was thankfully not frequent enough to qualify us as true users. While I do appreciate my limited exposure to the nation’s poison, I still feel the tugs of an obese child on my heart strings. Therefore, at my ripe age of 22, I have decided that I would like to revert back to the eight-year-old I wish I had been and purchase a box of Reese’s Puffs.
This story begins in the mile-long cereal aisle of Wegmans. I have neither the time nor the heart to count the vast variety of cereals available in aisle 18, but it is definitely a task for which one must set aside time before tackling. I knew I only needed Reese’s Puffs, but my mind began to race at the sight of all these new products. For example, WHAT is Krave? Please email me if you have tried that seemingly (likely disappointing) delectable “wholesome” breakfast cereal. Distractions aside, I grabbed a big old box of the dried out candy stuff and headed home. Yes, I did go through half the box on the way home. I blame the red lights on Route 13.
Okay, is this a post about mixology or what? Here we go.
Procrastination is no longer such if what you are doing is more applicable to your daily life than what you are avoiding. Fact. In this light, I am entirely justified in perusing cocktail recipes for hours on end. One such perusal led me to a recipe by the famous Momofuku Milk Bar. The drink’s title caught the attention of my previously mentioned obese sub-conscience. The description, on the other hand, alerted the microscopic amount of rational gray matter I possess, which asked “Could this recipe really be possible/edible/sane?” In chimed my dominant lobe of rebellion, “Yes.” Back on to Route 13 I found myself, this time to roam the aisles of Northside for some whipped vodka. Does anyone really keep that stuff on hand anymore? Cue hilarity.
This drink is thus the culmination of curiosity, nostalgia and anatomy.
Cereal Milk Cocktail
Reese’s Puffs cerealMilk of choiceWhipped vodka
Prepare a bowl of cereal with milk. DO NOT EAT. Place in the fridge for about ten minutes to let milk absorb the flavors of the cereal. Filter out the cereal and any gross particles remaining in milk. Reserve the milk and keep cold until ready to use. Combine cereal milk, whipped vodka and ice in a cocktail shaker. Shake up and drink down while watching re-runs of All That. Long live Lori Beth Denberg.
Original Author: Sarah McKeen