August 27, 2013

BYRNE: Five Things You Should be More Outraged About

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Over the summer, I was forced to encounter thousands of people per day who were unable to function normally in society, a.k.a. I lived in New York City. Most of the time, I tried to be patient with the barrage of pop culture and stupidity I faced each morning, but some things I just can’t get over. Therefore, you should be just as outraged as I am. Prepare yourself.

​1. Brandy Melville: If you haven’t heard of this lovely establishment, it is a clothing chain that recently opened in the U.S. and sells a lot of hipster-y clothes (crop tops, oversized sweaters, maxi skirts), but for girls who have too much money to be actual hipsters. The brand’s defining characteristic, though, is that all of its clothing is offered in only one size. Yes, one-size-fits-all apparently exists beyond the world of hats and socks. However, in the case of Brandy Melville, this one size does not really fit all, as the one size is closest to what may be described as a 0 or 2 in any other store. I’ve heard a lot of people express anger toward Abercrombie and Fitch’s CEO for not wanting uncool, fat or ugly people to wear his company’s clothes. I’d just like to say at least Abercrombie manufactures clothing in XL sizes.

2. Bad grammar: I know people who care about grammar get this bad reputation for being nerds, and I’ve definitely heard the phrase “grammar Nazi” bandied about, but seriously, native English speakers should, well, speak English. Nothing bothers me more than people who don’t know the difference between fewer and less. I will not even bother explaining the difference to you — you should know. In general, you should be embarrassed and/or shamed for using incorrect grammar in your native language. Look it up. Do it right. Please.

3. That Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t won every award for which she’s been nominated: Most of the people I know, male and female, have an insane crush on Jennifer Lawrence. How many times have you watched that clip of her tripping up the stairs at the Oscars? Or her telling the American public that her nickname on the set of The Hunger Games was Katpiss Neverclean? She seems like one of your super weird and awkward friends who just accidentally got famous. And the entire country loves her for it! I mean, I know grown men who saw Silver Linings Playbook and will admit in public to liking it. One small step for Jennifer Lawrence, one giant leap for the rom-com genre.

4. Girls using Snapchat at the gym: I really enjoy going to the gym for a sort of cruel reason: Everyone looks pretty awful. Most girls don’t wear makeup (at least not as much as usual), guys are usually trying to lift things that are too heavy for them, so they are making awkward faces at the world and everybody is relatively red-faced and sweaty. At least, this used to be the way of the world … until Snapchat. This app is destroying the sanctity of the gym space. Girls somehow feel the need to “snap” all of their friends to tell them they’re at the gym, because girls are in constant battle with each other over who can burn more calories on any given day. Because of this, not only do girls dress up to go to the gym, they literally stop exercising and put on a pouty duck face multiple times over the course of their workouts to notify all 50 of their closest friends that they are, indeed, at the gym. I am not pleased to say that my sweaty face is probably in the background of many of said snapchats.

5. The existence of the movie Cars: With the production of the high class film Cars 2, Pixar has sunk to an all time low. I can see their train of thought: Toy Story is one of the greatest film franchises of all time, with three fantastic movies that are beloved by virtually all human beings with souls; why not make another movie about the lives of inanimate objects? However, this line of thinking is just wrong. Toy Story succeeded because it fulfilled the dream everyone has had about their toys coming alive when they’re not around. No one has ever had, or will ever have, such a fantasy about his or her car. Further, the eponymous cars seem to exist in an alternate reality, where they live in car towns in car houses and yet their occupation is driving around a racetrack where the audience is still comprised of humans! A little bit disjointed, if you ask me, but I’ll let it go as long as there is no Cars 3.

Please, go out into the world and be properly outraged about these things. Let the insanity stop now. Help me, Sun readers. You’re my only hope.

Sarah Byrne is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She may be reached at sbyrne@cornellsun.com. Let it Byrne appears alternate Wednesdays this semester.

Original Author: Sarah Byrne