March 13, 2014

BERRY PATCH: Hey, Mr. President

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Earlier this week, President David Skorton announced that he will be leaving Cornell to become the Secretary of the Smithsonian Institute after the sesquicentennial celebration in June 2015. While the Board of Trustees is searching and reviewing candidates for our new president, we at The Sun wanted to gauge the public’s opinion on who should be the next president of Cornell. So we enlisted our best Berry Patch reporters — who were gorging on cheesecake in Cafe Jennié — and sent them to find out who the students would like to see as Skorton’s successor.

Denice A. Cassaro: Between her colorful emails and her pseudo-celeb status, we can understand why the students wanted Cassaro as their next president. Her page-long emails and determination to keep students on listservs have proved that she has the creativity to be a potential candidate for the job.

The Big Red Bear: Since Cornell has been pushing diversity lately, students suggested keeping with the trend and inviting the Big Red Bear to give the president position a try. They claim that he has the spirit for the job but the non-opposable thumbs could pose a potential problem.

Spiderman: In student opinion, The Sun website culprit would make a great president of the University. Besides fighting crime in his off-hours, Spidey would provide a voice of justice for the people of the Hill.

The Associate Editor of The Sun: As Skorton said in a press conference on Tuesday, “I periodically — when I’m getting ready to file my column for The Cornell Daily Sun — live in complete fear of the Associate Editor, who has control over my life in ways I never thought possible.“ Thus, we are going to toot our own horn and say that the A.E. of The Sun should get thrown into the mix of presidential candidates as well.

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