Is it my sultry stares? My pushed-up-too-much breasts? But isn’t that typical of most flirtation methods nowadays? I really am unsure about why people (in this case, guys) are so willing to cheat on their girlfriends. More specifically, why has it happened so many times with me?
On one hand, I’m offended and disgusted. Do you really have no respect for your significant other? But on the other hand, it’s so… appealing and almost empowering to play that mistress role. And yes, I know I’m not exactly convincing you that I’m the protagonist in this story, but please, let me expand.
My first make-out session was in 8th grade. I call it a session because it was more than my 7th grade pecks. I was hanging around one of my best guy friends, who had a 9th grade girlfriend, so he was super cool, obviously. He grabbed my phone in the playground (that’s where the cool kids hung out at night) and I chased him around, until he tripped in his all black vans. Yes, he also had swide-swept-a-little-too-much-bangs and had gauges in his ear, a hardcore sk8er boy. I straddled myself on top of him trying to reach for my phone, but I leaned in just a bit too far, and we began kissing. My first real kiss, and it didn’t even belong to me.
This happened again last year. Once, a guy was working the bar at a party, and so I decided to help out. Of course, I’m flirty, and very aware that he has a girlfriend. But in my fucked-up head, it’s okay for me to be flirty, because I’m not tied down. I’m not friends with her, and have no obligation to change my natural flirtatious behavior. He, on the other hand, does have the obligation to her, and therefore he should be the one to make sure nothing happens. But alas, he groped my ass behind the bar, and we secretly held hands, even as his girlfriend was requesting a drink just three inches over. Fucked up, I know.
Another time, I was so intoxicated at a frat party, and this guy who I was acquainted with (and who very much had a girlfriend… who I knew) began to talk to me. He asked me to go on the roof of the frat house, which sounded like a great idea to drunk me. We talked for a bit, and the entire time he kept saying “he can’t because of his girlfriend.” I was confused by this, because I was just hanging my feet off of the roof and singing Britney Spears or something. It was like he was trying to convince himself, but before I could say anything, he grabbed my hair and viciously made out with my face, almost as if it had to be worth it in order for him to cheat. He definitely didn’t take it well that I wasn’t going to have sex with him. Sorry dude, but my virginity was not going to end in this situation.
They all cheated on their girlfriends with me, and for what reason? Was it my fault? I mean, of course I enticed them, the role of power is just so hard to resist. Sometimes I even wonder how far they’re willing to go, and unfortunately the answer is very far. These stories raise so many questions that I just can’t answer, but seem to plague my mind relentlessly. Are people sometimes really just driven by their hormones and horniness? Do I have an obligation to tell their partners? Is this an indication of the type of person I am, or is it just natural that I would have more of these instances since the number of people I’ve hooked up with is already much higher than the average? I know that I shouldn’t be this temptress, it’s not morally right. But I think it goes both ways, as much as they can’t resist a shiny new toy, it’s hard for me to resist a glimmering treasure chest. It’s locked away, and I shouldn’t prod and poke, but when they give me the key… well, I’m going to open it.
Moby Dick is a student at Cornell. Comments may be sent to [email protected]. Sex on Thursdays appears alternate Thursdays this semester.