Around 10 years ago, my parents pulled by brother aside to discuss one of his recent searches on the family’s computer. Shocker, a teenage boy had been searching porn. He didn’t get in trouble. My parents actually got him his own computer and a virus protection plan — basically, as sex-positive as it gets. That night though, my parents looked at me and said something along the lines of how grateful they were that I was a girl and they didn’t have to deal with this problem twice. So I guessed that porn just wasn’t for girls. Shocker, I was wrong.
A couple of weeks ago, I was laying in bed on Twitter and came across a pretty graphic sex video from the profile of one of the world’s most searched websites (wink, wink). I was captivated, and yes, midway through watching it, I was pretty turned on and proceeded to give myself a Hollywood-worthy orgasm. In the past, I didn’t think porn could be for women — I had read countless articles on how despicable the porn industry was for women, I had heard that most porn was geared towards men, and I was honest-to-God scared to get a virus and have to ask my dad to fix my computer. Nothing really prepared me for my infatuation with porn, and although this is a controversial issue for feminism, I think it’s worth exploring given that “Porn for Women” was one of Pornhub’s top searches in 2017.
The Good
The vast range of porn opportunities overwhelmed me. There’s literally something for everyone and it’s fantastic because every masturbation journey can be a new adventure! Along these lines, some porn stars are awesome. I follow my favorite women and men porn stars on Twitter and they do a lot of advocating for their rights as workers in the sex industry. Many of the actresses actually run their own merchandise and video businesses themselves, which is pretty cool.
A lot of the women porn stars aren’t perfect, plastic models. Some have small asses, others have boobs with flat nipples, or cellulite and stretchmarks, and during sex, their bodies don’t arch perfectly and their tummies actually look a little flabby. This was really empowering because I realized that if even porn stars could look like normal humans during sex, then I could stop worrying about performing and enjoy myself a whole lot more.
Lastly, I knew that I had weird kinks, but the ability to search for these in porn really elevates my sexual fantasies to another level, which gives me plenty of ideas and positions to try with partners (if they’re willing).
The Bad
Completely reaffirming the stereotype, a lot of porn actresses exaggerate their pleasure and moaning to actually humorous levels. Expectations for women to do this are whack — like, no, boys, your six inch penis is not going to turn me into Ariana Grande.
While a lot of videos have scenes of hot women giving guys the most lavish and over the top blowjobs, there aren’t as many trending videos about women getting head. This is truly a shame since according to Pornhub, women view “Pussy Licking” 393 percent more than men. It’s no wonder most boys suck at eating girls out.
Porn search groups perpetuate racial fetishes. There are literal tags like “Submissive Asian,” “Dark Chocolate,” “Spicy Latinas,” among others, that extend negative stereotypes and dehumanize women by tokenizing their race for sexual gains.
Like a consumer of any product, you have the responsibility to verify that your porn is intersectionally sex-positive. With thousands of options (even a Fidget Spinner section), porn is an absolutely delicious way to live out your kinkiest fantasies and get hot ideas to spice up your sex life. So go for it, search up!
Veuve Cliq-Hoe is a student at Cornell University. Fire & Ice and Cherries in the Snow appears monthly this semester.