My life lacks drama in every respect, so I choose to watch people rip each other's hair out on internationally acclaimed reality television shows. I also don’t gossip. But, more than anything, I love bashing the problematic people on these shows — especially the men.
One of my most recent reality binges was Love is Blind: Habibi, the Emirati spinoff of the multinational Netflix reality franchise. This series, hosted by celebrity couple Khaled Saqer and Elham Ali, follows singles connecting and committing to marriage prior to meeting in person.
Contestants speed date in "pods" — small, furnished rooms with a shared wall — without seeing one another. Eventually, if the contestants find a connection, they can propose before a face-to-face interaction. After their engagement, the couples go on a retreat to spend time together in real life and test the vitality of their relationship. They then decide whether or not to proceed with marriage.
In honor of Galentine's Day, I thought I’d write an article for us single ladies because we have the most iconic woman to celebrate with: Nour El Haj.
29-year-old model Nour El Haj was one of the contestants on Love is Blind: Habibi. From the very beginning, Nour sets her standards. When speaking to fellow contestants in the female quarters, she outlines, “I don’t do coffee dates. I don’t do walking dates. I don’t do very last minute dates. He [has] to book very fine dining.” After this trending TikTok-viral audio, she goes on to say, “If you want a girl who orders only lemon juice and a salad, sorry, but that’s not me.”
After completing the “pods” part of the social experiment, Gahed Mohamed (Mido) proposed to Nour, and she accepted. The couple parted ways during the island getaway after only a few dates. Mido claimed Nour was obsessed with her physique and disinterested in him. He decided to leave the show without conversing with Nour and trying to resolve their differences.
Following the end of the (very few) successful weddings from the season, Netflix aired an awaited reunion episode. What stood out most from this episode? The ridiculous men on the show. The reunion episode is aimed at promoting reconciliation between the failed couples. Yet, all hell broke loose.
Mido never apologized for immaturely walking out on Nour. Instead, he said his biggest regret was proposing to her. His impoliteness prompted a group of the four most problematic men on the show to team up and bully Nour. Chafic Yactine had a past connection with Nour, which almost ruined his own relationship from his dishonesty. He defensively called her materialistic, a gold-digger and accused her of searching for an ATM.
Simo Nasrollah, a man exuding toxic masculine energy, blindly defended Mido and Chafic because he, too, disrespected his match and left without trying to resolve his problem with her. Even Ammar Zam had the astounding audacity of attacking Nour for being dumped. He was dumped by his match for controlling behavior and refusing to allow his fiancée to dance. Meanwhile, the season shows countless B-rolls of him dancing or channeling his inner Too Hot to Handle. God complex, much?
As a disclaimer, not all the men in this series were problematic. I would have liked to see Mohammad Kiswani and Khattab Hindi stand up for her. However, I respect them for not engaging in the public shaming of a woman to feel included.
All that is apparent from this series is the jealousy of these four men for her popularity. She was the only TikTok famous contestant, and everyone rushed to her defense on social media. These men publicly shamed Nour on an internationally-aired series, defensively backing one another up to mask their own insecurities. Their attacks on Nour were not merely disrespectful — they were revolting.
Even despite this, she sat tall and refused to engage with them after defending herself. She is confident enough in herself to decide not to upend her whole life for a man she just met.
What is so terrifying about Nour? She is a woman who knows her worth. She is a woman channeling her feminine energy. She is a woman challenging the status quo, refusing to settle for someone unwilling to provide her ideal lifestyle. She is a woman.
I will never understand the thrill of lowering one’s standards for an irrelevant man. While love may be powerful, it should not blind you to losing your own power and compromising on your standards. Why should we lose ourselves and autonomy for a man who is unwilling to compromise? Why should we validate someone’s ego at the expense of our happiness?
My intention with this piece is not to offend any of these contestants. I simply hope to relay my biggest takeaway for this Valentine’s Day: Ladies, channel your inner Nour and never settle for a Mido.
Ava Tafreshi is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at ant63@cornell.edu.
Hater Friday runs on Fridays and centers around critiquing media or culture.
