Thursday, Nov. 20:
Sex, studying and . . . swords? OK, it’s not quite Cornell, but it’s close: Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost hits the Schwartz Center tonight at 7:30 p.m. for a debut performance. With fancy wordplay and puns aplenty, the story of three dudes swearing off sex for three years is a gas. Student tickets $8.
Hadag Nachash: no, it’s not a dish, it’s a band. A really good one, in fact: the Israeli ensemble has gained international acclaim for its blend of hip-hop, jazz and Middle Eastern sounds. Lucky for you, they’re playing tonight at 9 p.m. at the Noyes Center. Admission is free.
We may love Ithaca dearly, but we’ll be the first to admit it it isn’t known for its club hoppin’, knee boppin’ dance scene. Still, for those who love to get down (in all senses of the word) and shake it, Daze shares its thought on some of the more “legendary” spots. (Warning: Our list is probably as comprehensive as our dance skills are America’s Best Dance Crew-worthy.)
Female student discussing politics with friends: I’m going to vote for Bob Barr.
Confused female friend: The elephant?!
Girl: He lives in my building, and I just want to screw him for God’s sake!
Other girl: OMG He lives in your building. That’s like God’s way of telling you to have a friends-with-benefits relationship!
— Outside Olin
Drunk Girl on Halloween: Look, he has antlers on his head! … Oh, they’re feathers! … Oh, it’s a girl.
— West Campus
Noyes Hot Dog Guy: All I do is wiggle this thing around?
Angry pre-med: You’re not coming to chem section?! I’m going to punish you later …
Badass pre-med: Hah, you don’t know my history with that …
Angry pre-med: With being punished? Are we talkin’ kinky here?!
You can’t spend a night — or the requisite Collegetown three — of dressing like a sexy police officer, Sarah Palin or an oversized pumpkin and come out smelling like roses. This week, the Daze staff share their wildest moments from All Hallow’s Eve: raw and (mostly) unedited. From disastrous high school pranks to men whose fetishes happen to be your specific Halloween costume, writers divulge their best and worst nights. It may have been a long time since elementary school going door-to-door; but that doesn’t mean the tricked and treated memories are far gone. So when Friday (and Thursday and Saturday) come along and the inevitable good and bad times happen, just be glad you weren’t us.
Girl (correcting guy’s grammar in a paper): You throw around commas like one dollar bills at a strip show.
— Thurston Ave
Awkward Dude (to friend): It’s so much fun to be in the men’s locker room with a bunch of naked guys. (Awkward silence.) Maybe I shouldn’t have used the word “fun”; it’s interesting. It’s a whole different … dynamic.
— Outside Helen Newman
Amazed Patron at Synapsis: They donated the entire medical school, and now this?!
— Weill Hall
Clean-cut Girl: I don’t like rubbing it the right way!
Guy 1: Yo, did you see those breast cancer shirts?
Guy 2: Yeah, what of it?
Guy 1: I liked the “Save Second Base” one.
Guy 2: What’s “second base?”
Guy 1: (pause, then laughter)
Can you kick it? Filmmaker Charlie Ahearn sure can: He was there for the early days of hip-hop in New York, and he’s coming to Cornell Cinema tonight at 7 p.m. to present his documentary Wild Style, featuring the likes of Grand Master Flash and the Fantastic Five. Student tickets are $4.
Need something to lift your spirits from the wintry doldrums? Stop by Bailey Hall at 8 p.m. for a concert by the world-renowned ensemble Philharmonia Brasileira. The Brazilian group will be aided by the services of Brandford Marsalis, Grammy Award-winning saxophonist and featured soloist. Cornell students get in for $15, all others $18-36.
If you’re a fan of the theatre and family tragedy (who isn’t?), you’ll love God’s Ear, playing tonight at the Schwartz Center. Penned by Jenny Schwartz ’95, the play will begin an Off Broadway run in April. The show starts at 7:30 p.m.
Tickets are $8-10.
Need ideas for how to entertain mom and dad during Parents’ Weekend? Why not let them buy you tickets to Howie Mandel? The Canadian TV personality and Deal or No Deal host hits Barton Hall at 7 p.m. for a night of stand-up and storytelling. No prize money will be distributed. Doors open at 6 p.m., and tickets are $20-25 for students, $25-30 for the general public.
Thick-Headed Jock: I felt bad. I didn’t even know what Indonesia was!
— Ag Quad
Smiling Girl: I just gave you a cootie shot! (after poking friend with a mechanical pencil)
Serious Girl: You didn’t do circle circle dot dot. You don’t have very good bedside manner.
girl (after ordering lo mein): A quart seems like a lot. Isn’t that, like, a gallon of milk?
— Prospect of Whitby
C.U. Undergrad on Cell: As conceited as this sounds, there has to be something wrong with this class if I can’t pass.
— Arts Quad
Good Looking Asian Chick: You have people follow you up to your room … I chase people around with candy and money. Naked.
While most of us spent our Fall Breaks half-comatose on a couch, a few members of the Arts staff took it upon themselves to do what they do best: be artsy. From an Okkervil River concert in Montreal to a not-so-scary haunted house in PA to an experiment in arts and crafts, three Arts writers share their break experiences.
Okkervil River (Saints Bar, Montreal) by Julia Woodward
Hey, hey, hey, Cornellians. Hope your break was just the bee’s knees. I spent mine in Montreal, as I usually do. On this particular jaunt, I saw Okkervil River play Saturday night, in a slick basement bar called Saints with an absolutely enormous disco ball.
Sick lacrosse player 1: Dude this song is sick who’s it by?
Sick lacrosse player 2: Hoobastank, bro.
Sick lacrosse player 1: Nice man, we should put this on the warm up, it’s getting me pumped up.
Sick lacrosse player 2: Yea I know. It makes me want to smash my head through a concrete wall.
Annoyed girl: Get the fucking dick ring off the fucking printer.
— State St.
Frat guy: So what did you end up doing last night?
Obnoxious jock: I blacked out and woke up in Dickson.
— Central Campus
Confused Boy: I contacted my sponsor for that program, and get this: Her favorite TV show is Friends, and she was on the women’s soccer team. So we have a lot in common.
— Becker Dining Hall