BYRNE: Five Things You Should Be Happier About

December 4, 2013 1:00 am1 comment


This is my last column for the semester, but don’t cry. I still have a few paragraphs of knowledge to bestow upon you. I thought about writing a sappy final column about myself, or things you should do over winter break, or my wishes for you all for the upcoming semester. In the end, I thought back to my first column this semester, which addressed things you should be more outraged about. Now, at the end of the semester, I’d like to present you with the opposite point of view. So, here is a list of things we should all be more excited about, right now, right here, on this Wednesday in December.

  1. Smart television comedies still exist: As a former viewer of exclusively sitcoms (emphasis on former), I can say with confidence that most of these sitcoms do not last. Even when they are consistently renewed, they deteriorate to the point of unwatchability (looking at you, How I Met Your Mother). However, there are a few select shows that give me hope that the United States does produce high quality creative work. In the more popular sector, we have Modern Family. Although it’s in its fifth season, it is still just as witty, topical and hilarious as it was in the first episode. If anything, it’s gotten even better with time. And then for the more niche audience, there are shows like Parks and Recreation, which somehow manages to be silly and smart at the same time. Basically, Amy Poehler is a god, but for mere mortals, it will suffice for us to watch the show and bask in her glory.

  1. Leighton Meester and Adam Brody got married: Confession time. Although I just professed my love for intelligent television programming, sometimes I can’t help but love what some might generously call “trashy” shows. As an avid watcher of both The O.C. and Gossip Girl, nothing in the world makes me happier than seeing Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf get married. I want to be Blair, and I want to date Seth, so I can’t even deal with this level of perfection. Critically speaking, I think it is a little unhealthy to support celebrity relationships based on love for fictional characters, but this is different. It just is.

  1. People you went to high school with are becoming unsuccessful: As someone who was “smart” in high school, and therefore excluded from any other characterization, I was frequently promised by adults that those who dismissed me for my academic success would one day suffer for this unkindness. Not to be overly condescending or rude, but to be a little bit of both of these things, as a junior in college I am excited to finally see these promises coming to fruition. I have no illusions about my own success. At Cornell, I am reminded of my own academic shortcomings on almost a daily basis, by all sorts of people (usually because I deserve it). However, it is just a little bit comforting to see the fall of those who were considered more “popular” than me, even if it’s just the fact that they still live in their parents’ basement.

  2. Freshmen are learning how to be humans: Shout out to all the freshmen! Guys, you are doing great. Although it’s still easy to identify the large herds of freshmen traveling around campus, they seem to have stopped wearing their keys around their necks, and what more can we even hope for? As finals approach — the first round of college finals for a quarter of our population — I see many fewer freshmen who are still clearly high school seniors at heart. They have learned where buildings are, which Olin is which, how not to curse in front of professors and so much more. So for now, let’s celebrate the maturity of freshmen — maturity we can appreciate for an entire semester before we get a new batch of them.

  1. THREE MORE WEEKS: There are fewer than 20 days left of the semester. I’m so overcome with emotion, I don’t even know what to say, except that I am taking 22 credits right now, and I have never been happier to see a semester’s end. As we all write papers, cram for finals in classes we’ve never been to and lurk around libraries trying to get tables, just remember that it will all be over soon. In the end, it will either get done or it won’t. And if it doesn’t, life will go on. Good luck to you all.

Hidden agenda for this list: Make Cornell a happier place during finals. I would just love to see someone in a library smile at some point during the next few weeks, because libraries are just really depressing places during finals. Just one person. One. Please?


  • Another_Cornellian

    Holy fuck is the fourth point an abysmal display of humanity —perhaps this article is a good reason why you weren’t popular? Please do us a favor and never write again, Sarah