By OLIVIA TICE
August:
Hello humidity, nice to meet you, I’m Olivia. Wow, look at those gorges! I don’t know where anything is; wait, there’s the clock tower. Okay, just keep walking towards it and you’ll find the arts quad eventually. Shoot, we had an essay to write? Oops. I think my OL added me on SnapChat. I LOVE ORIENTATION WEEK. FREE KEYSTONE FOR EVERYONE. I’m going to be best friends with everyone I meet this week!
September:
I just spent $500 on books; I need to sit down. At least I know where all the bathrooms are now. I like this temperature so much better. Awe, fall is pretty! Hello, mom. Yeah hi, so how do I do laundry again? So you’re telling me there are three prelims and a midterm AND a final for this class. I hate quarter cards. So this is what a hangover at an 8 a.m. class feels like. I think I like walking to class; I’ll never take the bus! I love all my classes!
October:
S.O.S. I’ve been in the library for eight hours, send coffee and rations. Okay, I’m kind of cold now. Phew, first prelim down, just please God let me have passed. Should I be taking more credits? I don’t even miss home yet. Wait, Halloween lasts an entire weekend? I need to get three different costumes? Won’t I be cold walking to Collegetown as a sexy bunny? Yes, yes I was.
November:
Hmm, well I expected it to be colder, this isn’t so bad. I miss home; I want my mom’s cooking. Fuck walking, where’s my bus? These TCATs are always late, what’s up with that? But my class in Kennedy is SOO far and my bed is SOO warm, and it’s SOO early … I can skip one class, right? How am I out of BRBs already?
December:
I still have to walk to class in this? Awe, Cornell is so pretty covered in snow. I’m so excited for Christmas and home! What’s the worst that could happen if I just don’t take my finals? I know so much about evolution right now it’s insane. Go ahead, ask me anything … wait, we have to know that? I was probably supposed to use study period to study, but at least I’m caught up on Grey’s Anatomy.
January:
Back to the grind. Alright, I’m freezing now. Can I go back home? Yay, new classes!
February:
GET ME OUT OF THIS FROZEN WASTELAND. I need a car. Why don’t I have a car? I don’t know what February break is, but I’ll take it. I’m going to be so productive this semester; I won’t get lazy like last semester.
March:
I don’t think spring exists in Ithaca. I’m out of BRBs again, seriously? I hope I get a good housing time spot. Ugh, do I even want to live on West? Collegetown seems cool. Hm, how does anyone around here pay rent? Spring break, please come faster. Hello ocean, I’ve missed you. Oh right, this is what I look like tan.
April:
One month to go! I’ve learned so much already this year. Yay education! I might actually miss school this summer. Ah, summer. 60 degrees is now officially bikini weather. I could’ve done a little less stress eating this year. Well, I think I’m okay with the freshman five; it’s not so bad, could be 15. So maybe I finally have this time management thing down, only took me eight months. Aren’t you guys excited for Slope Day?! So what if Ludacris hasn’t had a hit in a while, we’ll all be drunk anyways. I can’t believe I’m almost a sophomore!