I know what you’re thinking: didn’t she do this a couple of weeks ago? Well, not quite. This time I’m taking on the boys with the less-often discussed, MPDGuy. Actually, I don’t think Manic-Pixie-Dream-Guy has been coined yet, probably because people might think I mean Peter Pan.
But I’m talking about the seemingly unattainable, distant, free-spirited male leads in the romances of our lives. And instead of solely focusing once again on Nick Sparks characters (though they will be mentioned), I’m going to rant about the ones who actually exist as well.
I know that a lot of us cling to this idea of a perfect man: Someone who seems to be closed off, but is secretly sensitive (especially when he’s around you); someone who evades societal norms to increase his façade of bad-assery; a guy who can only be tamed by us while we still let him keep all of the mysterious qualities he had held before. But let’s be real. The mysterious part of a guy is really cool and enticing in the beginning, but if you’re in a relationship with someone, do you really want him to be enigmatic?
You know that brooding guy in your English Lit class who you think is hiding some dark secret? He really just doesn’t feel like washing his hair. Stop thinking that every guy who goes weeks without proper hygiene is a vampire. Yes, I know Robert Pattinson goes awhile without washing his hair so that he can achieve that cross between James Dean and Johnny Bravo he somehow manages to pull off. He’s also actually a human. And not washing your hair is gross for any human.
But I digress. If you meet a guy who works at a lumberyard, he’s probably not going to build you your dream house while pining for you for years. A young guy with no stable job who draws nudes of women might not be the one who will set you free from your caged world. He’s probs just a perv with an affinity for Ramen who only listens to underground Dubstep.
I know that 99 percent of us girls are looking for someone to drag us from our mundane world into a secret meadow, or whisk us onto a boat where he will quote poetry and point out the beauty of a transcendentalist lifestyle. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not letting a guy lead me astray from actually accomplishing anything. The whole “let’s run away together and leave it all behind” mentality is great if you have somewhere to run to, a bank account already set up and suitcases packed. It might be a nice fantasy, but we have to think of what is practical. When the magic ends, the sweatpants and E! obsessions have to begin. It’s just the natural cycle of life.
Between the dream-house building and notebook-reading, don’t you think that Ally and Noah actually slept in separate beds for 30 years and at some point their hot and steamy arguments started ending in him going off to drink and watch the game while she leaves in a huff to eat some chocolate? Yup, sounds about right.
Life isn’t like the movies — you can’t replay your favorite parts over and over again, so you have to stop expecting everything to be the same forever. If one moment is perfect, you will have to stop expecting all the rest to be just like it, or else you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Start looking for other things in your life to make you feel that excited first-kiss-in-the-rain feeling again. Don’t always look for your euphoria in your relationships, because chances are, unless you’re a dolphin you won’t feel it all the time. (Sidenote: did you know that dolphins’ sex drives only increase with age to the point where they can experience constant pleasure without any stimulation 24/7 for 15 days straight? Where did evolution screw us over on that one…)
So right now let’s start making goals: Don’t rule out the nice guy because he isn’t mysterious or exciting enough, or doesn’t furrow his eyebrows 24/7 and own a closet of black turtlenecks. Nice, normal guys of the world, I’m rooting for you, because frankly I see you getting passed by all too often for the guys with the bad-ass façades. Girls, look at your lives. Look at your choices. Look at the guys you’ve friend-zoned. Enough said.
Special thanks to Emma Court for her inspiring words.
Rachel Ellicott is a sophomore in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Her blog appears alternate Tuesdays this semester.