Okay so. You have all these clothes, some fabulous, some good ol’ reliable standards and some that you’re not quite sure how you ended up with them. Now, how are you supposed to figure out what to wear? I’m sure I’ve mentioned several of the following points in various other columns over the past year and a half, but today I’m going to try and give you a compressed version of how to put together an outfit.

One must be wary of buying hats. They are sneaky creatures that trick you in the store and so often lose their charm when pulled out of your closet. But a good hat, a perfect headband, a perky flower lovely enough people suggest you spray it with perfume … any of these good accessories on your head can make all the difference in the world.

Talk in my last column of lace- and otherwise scantily-clad women on the Fall ’09 Runway generated conversation among some of my friends and my editor about Cornell students’ most frequent occasion for getting scandalous: going out. I was going to say: “Friday and Saturday nights,” and then I remembered how the weekend apparently starts on Wednesday. As if there were not enough to figure out, getting dressed to go out is complicated by our lovely fall / winter weather.

Despite news of rising employment rates and other positive economic indicators, the recession is still very much on everybody’s minds. The Fall 2009 collections that debuted last spring are interesting snapshots of the fashion community’s take on where we were then and where we would want to be this fall. The general consensus is that designers handled the gloom in one of two ways: through extravagance or a more staid conservatism. This, as with any binary system, is a gross over-simplification, and many designers mixed these two elements in one collection.

Being quarantined in my apartment for 48 hours by Gannett for my own health and that of others at the end of this past week, and extending that slothfulness into the weekend, I turned to entertaining myself with The New Yorker, NPR, disco music and like any self-respecting clothes-lover, fashion magazines and browsing clothing online.

So this is a fashion column. What does that mean? Well, I talk about fashion, style and clothing and it’s printed in a columnar shape. Like any good social scientist, I say basically whatever I want, but try to back it up with some sort of solid evidence. With a substantial amount of vigorous wit and idiosyncrasies, I assert my opinions and analyses of trends past and present. But first and foremost I am here to help you look good, feel good and know your shit (like me, of course).

As this is my last column for this year, (sad face), in lieu of a single theme I am going to open my Mary Poppins-bag of fashion tips and tricks to get you through the rest of the semester and get you excited/ready for the summer with the clothes you already own.

I have been waiting a long time to delve into the Spring 2009 Ready-to-Wear lines and to bring you the best and boldest looks and trends. The fashion world’s timeline is very confusing: These designs were dreamt of last spring, debuted and manufactured in the fall and finally shipped to stores for you to buy this season. So when I say waiting, I mean a long time. But sporadic Ithaca weather be damned: It’s April, and it’s time for spring.