“What are you doing next year?”

This time of year, many seniors have come to dread that inevitable — and daunting — question.

People have all kinds of plans, and many of us legitimately do not know. Yet amidst all the uncertainty and confusion, nothing came close to what I was about to hear. Without even a twist of her comely, deceptively-innocent brow, she spoke with a voice full of the confidence of four years of liberal arts education and other worldly experience:

“I’d like to do something good for humanity … or make a lot of money.”

Or??

When Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of Great Britain, addressed Congress last month, he surprisingly flattered America a great deal: “America’s faith in the future has been, is, and always will be, an inspiration to me, and to the whole world.” He referred to Washington D.C. as “a shining city upon the hill lighting up the whole of the world” and President Obama as offering “the whole world renewed hope in itself.”

“I want to thank you on behalf of the British people …” He goes on like this for 15 minutes.

Last week, President Barrack Obama appeared on The Tonight Show to make us laugh over issues like the financial crisis, the burgeoning deficit, the energy crisis, the dubious future of American prosperity and, of course, to give us the latest gossip on the impending presidential dog.

(Laughter and applause … )

Obama wasn’t an ordinary late night TV guest. First, he is the sitting President of the United States — the first to ever appear on late-night TV. Second, he wasn’t there to promote a new movie, TV show or book. Rather, as soon became apparent, he was there to promote the economic agenda of his administration.

“It will only cost $500, all inclusive. Flight, room, food …”

There was a brief pause.

“Oh, plus drinks, yea. So like $1000.”

The source of the conversation was an innocent looking petite in a baggy Cornell sweatshirt, clutching a calculus textbook unable to fit in her jam-packed Jansport backpack.

I immediately knew she was planning her spring break. Spring break: the consummate week of sun, sand and “romance.” The week students from across the country “dance” intimately with strangers in unrestricted, inebriated revelry on national television. The one-week revolt against the rigor of the American education system — book learning swept rudely from the altar, replaced by carnal knowledge.

Last December, I found myself in a conference room on the top floor of a high-rise in a major eastern city, waiting to be interviewed for a scholarship. While I waited nervously, I skimmed through a book containing the biographies of past winners. The biographies were listed chronologically.

Nobody likes paying taxes — after all, the American Revolution was led by farmers sore about a tax on tea. But even the tax-adverse Americans couldn’t operate a government without revenue. This realization led Ben Franklin to famously quip, “Nothing is certain but death and taxes.” However, like with death, people try to avoid the inevitable.

One famous example of defiance occurred in July 1846, when a local tax collector demanded Henry David Thoreau pay six years of delinquent back taxes. Thoreau refused to pay, out of principle — he was opposed to the stances the government had taken on the Mexican-American war and on slavery. For being principled, he was sent to the slammer.

In these dark times, when betting on horses yields better returns than the stock market, hedge fund manager and amateur hedge fund manager alike must look for other means of making money easily. To those considering selling junk on ebay, stuffing envelopes in your home, starting a Ponzi scheme or gambling to make an honest dollar, hark! I know of a way you can get richer by doing absolutely nothing. Really. And you don’t even have to pay me for a book to tell you how.

This proven and reliable get-rich-quick scheme is called deflation, and it’s a great reason to start recycling your beer cans. Deflation means that the purchasing power of the dollar increases. Or, in simple terms, that the five-cent refund from your beer cans buys more now than it did before.

Next month, Barack Obama will be inaugurated as the forty-fourth president of the United States. The world holds its breath, hoping that Obama’s team of the best and brightest, like D.C. Comics’ Justice League of America, will save the day. If we lived in the best of all possible worlds, Obama will solve the financial crisis, resolve all conflicts in the Middle East, and restore this country’s reputation in the world. In addition, he may slay another fearsome beast— the rising costs of higher education.

Back in 1980, every kid wanted the Atari 2600, retail price $199, or approximately a Playstation 3 in today’s dollars. Instead, under the tree, they got a shoe tree, so 1979’s sneakers could last longer. Similarly, this holiday season is not looking very good. With consumer spending at its lowest point since the recession of 1980 (according to the New York Times, in 1980 Americans had “the sort of Christmas that would have made Scrooge merry”), spoiled children around the country will think they are on the naughty list this year.

According to Robert Massa of Dickson College, “What we’ve done in higher education is let our dreams and aspirations dictate our cost structure.” Due to the financial crisis, this prodigal era of “dreams and aspirations” may finally be over.

This past Tuesday, Cornell implemented a hiring pause, a delay on new construction, and other cost-saving measures. The contract colleges are especially hard hit. According to a dean in the ILR School, administrators — rather than tenured faculty — may have to teach some classes, while existing faculty may be allotted fewer teaching assistants.