Deckhead:

Saturdays Excepted

Body:

A friend of mine forwarded me an interesting chain e-mail last week, the contents of which may or may not be true.

It said that, of the 535 members of the United States Congress, “36 have been accused of spousal abuse, seven have been arrested for fraud, 19 have been accused of writing bad checks, 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least two businesses, three have done time for assault, 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit, 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges, eight have been arrested for shoplifting, 21 currently are defendants in lawsuits, and 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.”

Deckhead:

Saturdays Excepted

Body:

Forgive me.

Even with the loads of work piled on us 1Ls by our professors, I should have time to write a substantive column every two weeks. Unfortunately, it’s just not happening for me this time around. I’ve got a memo due on Thursday (it’s a lot more time consuming than it sounds, trust me), Yom Kippur services today and Mets playoff games to make time for this week, so I had to get ahead in my classes a bit this weekend.

Deckhead:

Saturdays Excepted

Body:

“Whenever Harvard does anything, it’s more than a trickle down — there’s a major effect. … When Harvard acts, it causes other people to say, ‘That’s the highest order of ethical behavior.’”

Deckhead:

Saturdays Excepted

Body:

In a typical Cornell student’s four years as an undergraduate, there are precious few events that truly bring the entire University together. The disjointed nature and great size of our alma mater makes these kinds of events nearly impossible to organize and justify.

Deckhead:

Saturdays Excepted

Body:

Wait. You mean you want my opinion now?

I’ve basically spent the last four years suppressing my opinion and now you want me to say what I think for 1,000 words every two weeks?

You’ve got to be kidding.

Deckhead:

Saturdays Excepted

Body:

Are you guys old enough to remember Baz Luhrmann’s late ’90’s song “Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)”?

It was essentially just a reading of a column written by Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich, set to music. Versions of the lyrics actually floated around the Internet claiming to be a commencement address given by Cornell and Sun alumnus Kurt Vonnegut ’44. But, sadly, we can’t take credit for it.