Suddenly, April is here, spring break seems distant and the finish line is in sight. College is always a transitory process, but I’ve never felt that more than I do right now. As seniors looking to the future, our opportunities seem vast and endless, but also intangible and difficult to visualize, as Skyler Schain ’13 so beautifully articulated a few weeks ago.

One of the main objectives of the veterinary profession is to encourage the spaying and neutering of cats and dogs whenever possible. Spaying and neutering is a very large part of a small animal veterinarian’s career, although my view might be a little biased because I’ve recently been spending a lot of time thinking about shelter animals and overpopulation.

The word ‘meditation’ may invoke any number of images.  Perhaps the likeness of the Dalai Lama sitting quiescently in meditative repose, legs crossed, eyes closed, hands resting gently in his lap.  Maybe stereotypical meditation paraphernalia such as a singing bowl, a meditation cushion or a Tibetan prayer flag comes to mind.

In the spirit of AH-I’M-ALMOST-GRADUATING-AND-NOT-READY-TO-BE-A-REAL-PERSON nostalgia, I thought it’d be a good time to share some of the sexual highlights of my time at Cornell. Originally, when I set out to be the sex artist that I am today, I thought it would be sufficient to do everything on the 161 list and then add “and then have sex afterwards” to each one of them.

If you haven’t heard of it, Cornell Crushes is a Facebook page where people can anonymously post a message about their crush. While people mostly tend to make puns about peoples’ names and tell them how much they want to have sex with them — “Morgan, you can write a page in my Book because you’re writing makes me want to bang you,” for example — some actually seem cute. 

We live in a world where sexual dominance is overridingly held by men. Even in our somewhat progressive Cornell bubble, guys are usually the instigators, as well as the terminators, of romantic relationships. In bed, guys sometimes feel like they have the power to get girls to do their bidding.

I love popping zits. Whiteheads, blackheads, zits on my face, zits on my back. When I feel the prickling of a pimple protruding I am elated. Picturing the pus, I palpitate with pleasure, relishing its arrival with all the eagerness of a child on Christmas morning.

“How are we ranked 15th by U.S. News when we’re better than Dartmouth?”  “Did you hear that we have the number one ranked Collegetown in the nation?” “I wonder what our fraternity will be ranked after rush week?”