Some people debate politics. Some people debate religion. Some people debate whether or not it is justifiable to spend $40 for a Johnny Cupcakes t-shirt. Fortunately for our generation, these questions have been answered for us by greedy, conniving marketing executive fat-cats for MTV. In case you are still wondering, the answers are Ross Perot, Pastafarianism, and no, of course not, it’s a fucking t-shirt Matt. However, there’s one great debate that is so controversial, so crucial to the health and well-being of society that it continues to tear friendships apart and make babies cry. I’m talking about pirates versus ninjas. Journey along with me to make sense of the gritty, sordid and, at times, erotic history of this argument.