The National Institutes of Health (NIH) awarded a $12.2 million grant to Cornell and six other institutions to develop a social networking site that will connect biomedical researchers across the country. Think Facebook, but rather than updating your profile with your “Halloween 2009!” photo album and relationship status, you would post research interests, current projects and your latest journal publications.

Few are immune to the trend. It brings you closer to fifth-grade friends, peers and even parents, for better or worse. Xanga, MySpace, Friendster, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook — what is the science that makes social networking such a staple of 21st century life?

One of my Facebook friends posted a status that was all, “Why can’t The Sun publish educated opinions?” So, here goes nothing: David Foster Wallace is the poor man’s Thomas Pynchon ’59. Pynchon is the pretentious man’s Vonnegut ’44. Bam. Moving on.

Last weekend, my friend (who has recently found the man of his dreams) expressed his concern over my own lack of significant other. Heretofore, I’ve remained relatively indifferent on the subject. But then he told me that boyfriends buy you things. Suffice it to say, I’m down.

Before we get started today, I should probably make a few things clear. I will preface this article by saying that I do, in fact, appreciate the cyber universe and probably use my Blackberry as much or more than any of you on a regular basis. I can’t deny that I check for Facebook updates every ten minutes, or that I was peer pressured into creating a Twitter. My lament today is that we have become all too obsessed with technology, obscuring the lines between reality and its technologically mediated counterpart. Essentially, everyone needs to log off and live a little.

Facebook got a facelift in February, and the new site layout elicited many a group in its opposition. Though less visible, changes in the site’s governing documents also generated controversy. The new language in Facebook’s Terms of Service implied that the site owned all content, even after profiles were deleted. Site officials recently put the change to a vote, inviting all 200 million members to decide between the existing governing documents and the controversial proposed ones. The week-long voting period ended last Thursday. Participation was low, with only 600,000 ballots cast, but the old terms were reinstated with 75-percent approval.

That monolith of a social networking site is due to acquire its 200 millionth user in the next few days, if it hasn’t already. You know which one I mean: Facebook. Although I have resented the site ever since my friends in high school urged me to join it, Facebook is apparently here to stay. It has become more than just a website. Since its creation in 2004, its name has changed from the more humble “thefacebook.com” to a proper noun to be reckoned with. It is an entity nearing nationhood status, a verb and a place.

What the F? I’m gone for spring break for five days and Facebook is completely different? Just in case I wasn’t already having enough trouble keeping track of people’s birthdays, it goes ahead and moves the few buttons left that I knew how to use without even giving me fair warning. It took me a good 20 minutes of stalking to figure out that people were updating their Facebook statuses rather than writing all over their own walls. It would be one thing if these changes had some useful function for me — like if they were to add a “Remove Unsightly Pimple in Default Pic” button — that’s something I could understand. But, with these seemingly arbitrary and certainly confusing changes, I can’t help but wonder: Why, Mark Zuckerberg? Why?

Facebook found itself at the center of another massively publicized controversy last week, when it announced a change to its terms of service (ToS) that would give the social networking service the right to retain material posted by its users in perpetuity. The change was actually slipped in several weeks prior, but the blogosphere picked up on it the weekend of Valentine’s Day, and once again we were off to the races. Blog articles led to angry Facebook groups, which led to articles in the mainstream media. In fact, the furor built to such a point that Facebook was forced to roll back to its former ToS last Wednesday.

NEW YORK (AP) — In an about-face following a torrent of online protests, Facebook is backing off a change in its user policies while it figures how best to resolve questions like who controls the information shared on the social networking site.

The site, which boasts 175 million users from around the world, had quietly updated its terms of use — its governing document — a couple of weeks ago. The changes sparked an uproar after popular consumer rights advocacy blog Consumerist.com pointed them out Sunday, in a post titled "Facebook's New Terms Of Service: 'We Can Do Anything We Want With Your Content. Forever.'"

In light of the recent Facebook phenomenon, whereby people list 25 “interesting” tidbits about themselves and then force 25 of their “friends” to do the same, I’ve copied and pasted mine here.

1. I’m a classically trained bassoonist. In German, the word for bassoon is faggot.

2. Lacy Peterson went to my middle school. Her and Conner are buried in the cemetery across the street from my house. My parents want to be buried there as well.

3. I’m uncircumcised. And every time I have sexual intercourse I worry that it might rip like my little brother’s did. (See my previous column, “Uncut Bonding," Oct. 9, 2008.)