You said it!

PLEDGES!

Have you heard that recently?

TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDFOLDS!

Listen up! He is your brother, and he is talking to you! He is “educating” you on how to become a True Gentleman. He is educating you about the highest principles and — RECITE! — about ACTIONS WORTHY OF THE HIGHEST PRECEPTS OF TRUE MANHOOD, DEMOCRACY AND HUMANITY (or truth or honor or whatever).

I think I only vaguely knew I would quit, standing there in a smoky living room full of guys who were usually my friends, but who were now growling at me to memorize these words they were at once betraying. You can do a lot with democracy; you cannot memorize it.

It makes absolutely no difference to me whether any of you decides to join a house this year or not. Frankly, in a sorority or not in a sorority, to me you are all just “young.” It does concern me, however, that a record low number of women at Cornell have registered to rush this year. This is probably because fewer girls than ever before are interested in joining sororities, which would be totally cool with me if I felt that they’d come to this decision after learning all of the necessary information to form an educated opinion about involvement in Greek life. Of course, I don’t think so, as I firmly believe that every girl on this campus should go through Rush (whether they are planning on joining a sorority or not).

Well done. You’ve staggered your way through another fall semester. This one happens to be my last—I’ve also had a last Orientation Week at Cornell, last Halloween at Cornell and a last time I spill coffee on myself on a Tuesday in November at Cornell. Fond memories, I'm making. While I’m on a sentimental kick, I’ll share some life lessons I’ve learned from the Opinion Section in 2008:

1) Dilbert brought a lot to the table last semester. I realize that now. But Dilbert is gone and there is nothing any of us can do about it, except pretend that Doonesbury and Maintaining are funny.