I’m not the ugliest guy, nor am I the least modest, but due to whatever the circumstances — my lovely blue eyes, my razor sharp wit or my charming smile — I have been blessed with the opportunity to sleep with girls. Many, many girls. I’m not going to give you my laundry list or show you my bedpost (which is notched like a saw), but it’s probably more than you think for a skinny Jewish kid from Long Island. I’m not terribly proud of it, it just happened. The problem is that girls don’t want to know that ranking them in your Top 10 is actually quite a prestigious honor and bragging about prior conquests hasn’t gotten anyone wet since Napoleon with Josephine.