Two Thursday’s ago, while reading The New York Times’ Thursday Styles insert — the paper’s only section of veritable content — I learned something new: Apparently, the U.S. economy is not doing so hot. I was somewhat shocked to read this, as my life has not noticeably changed in the past year. I was also bewildered that I had not been informed about this seemingly legitimate crisis earlier, and that, especially in this election season, I had not heard anything about it on the news.

A couple of years ago, when my friends and I would sit in my backyard, attempting to partake in illicit activities, my brother would come over and regale us with predictions of the impending apocalypse. I would get more than mildly embarrassed and demand that he leave. He would then begin to give Jon and Tim tips on how to “spit game” and try to demonstrate on Sarah.

It has recently come to my attention that not everyone makes playlists according to what their middle school physical education teacher played while they did lunges on the blacktop during third period.

While en route to Montreal this weekend, my compatriots in Canadian tomfoolery appeared to be visibly shaken by the sheer volume of Phil Collins tracks on my “in-case-the-iTrip-fails-us” mixes. Phil Collins, Seal, Fine Young Cannibals and Toto rounded out the six-hour journey to Backwardsville, where they speak French instead of English and walk their cats instead of their dogs. (Seriously, I have pictures.)

I felt unsatisfied and a little dirty as I did my walk-of-shame to the car. I double-checked my bag and then looked around the area to see if I knew anybody around. I’m in the clear. What was I doing there? I know I wasn’t looking for anything substantial, but really? Maybe I just needed a little bit more fun in my life ... though clearly I went to the wrong place for that. My motives were originally so pure, and now here I sat, disappointed and wishing to be home.

A trip to the Dollar Tree isn’t something anybody is ever really proud of. Maybe you went in thinking you’d find some gifts for big-little week, or maybe you thought you could pick up some decorations for your new apartment in Collegetown. But are you ever really satisfied with what you find?