After a fashion-induced car accident earlier this week, The Sun sent a crack team of Berry Patch reporters all around campus to determine what colors are too dangerous to wear on campus.

Does Ben Koffel, grad, write an entire column in rhetorical questions to prove a point about rhetorical questions?

Our Berry Patch muckrakers uncover the top-five favorite Fall Break destinations for Cornell undergrads. The list may ... or may not ... surprise you.

In honor of the guy who may or may not have invented the Berry Patch, we take a look at what was absent from Career Fair.

Apparently there’s something going on these days that has something to do with drinking in the Greek system? We sent some crack Berry Patch reporters to investigate the six degrees of Greek rage.

H&V valiantly returns with riffs on heat, hot dogs and all other sorts of wieners.

Hey freshmen, welcome to the first Berry Patch of your college career. We’re here to sum up everything you might need to know about anything, then force feed it to you with side dishes of mediocre humor and over-done cliches.

Late Sunday, as dusk descended upon Ithaca, bringing grey skies and the first whisper of an autumn chill, a moribund message appeared on the screen of our computer: “Sorry, we could not access the web page www.CornellSun.com because we cannot find the server.” Shriek — VILLAINOUS chaos ensued around us! What is the meaning in all of this — “can’t find the server”?! Has the newsroom been subjected to a VILLAINOUS Orwellian experiment, with twisted intentions to make us sleep-deprived editors face certain social, intellectual and mental doom? What would happen without technology? What could ensue besides pure catastrophe? Needless to say, it was dirty and messy and forced us to almost shut down operations across the board. Well, not quite ...

To the Editor:

Re: “Killing Satire in Cold Blood,” Opinion, Jan. 30

I just wanted to reassure Mr. Gault that political satire is not dead. In an interview with The Washington Post entitled “Obama Interested in D.C. Schools,” the president said that he was going to use his [position] “as leverage to get kids and parents and teachers excited about the possibilities of an education.”

The punchline? The Obamas are sending their daughters to Sidwell, a school of choice for the Washington elite.

Where were you the day political satire died? I was at home watching the inauguration, of course.

I saw it all go down. I watched President Obama address both America and the world with such purpose, integrity and humility that one thing became abundantly clear: he killed satire in cold blood.

With Clinton’s philandering and Bush’s floundering, the past 16 years have been an all-you-can-eat buffet of political buffoonery for columnists, pundits and comedians alike.

But the electoral process giveth, and the electoral process taketh away.

On January 20th I watched a green helicopter fly away with my meal ticket.