To the Editor:

Re: “Outcry Erupts from Alleged Homophobia: Gay student asked to step down from leadership post by Christian group,” News, April 23.

It was thoroughly appalling to read of the events surrounding Chris Donohoe’s ’09 forced withdrawal from leadership in the Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship.

Editor’s Note: After Chris Donohoe ’09 finished his term as vice president of Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship, he was set to become a member of the leadership team last fall. The organization’s pastors, however, stipulated that he could hold this position as long as he did not engage in a relationship with another man. After Donohoe met his boyfriend, Jarrod Schaeffer ’09, last summer, the pastors asked Donohoe to step down from the team without consulting the rest of the organization.

Well, here we are. End of the line. This is where I’m supposed to tell you all about what I’ve learned being a sex columnist, how my life has changed and pepper in some thoughts on Life and the Hereafter. Let’s make it quick.

What I’ve learned being a sex columnist: Everything that has ever been fucked, sucked or come upon has already been talked about, fought about and turned into an entire media enterprise. The very concept of the (inevitably) female or gay male sex writer has become a cliché in itself.

How my life has changed: I got pretty all right at frantic writing, and AEPi wants people to pay money to throw pies at me. Cream pies. Bless their hearts.

Thoughts on Life and the Hereafter? Keep on fuckin’.

Laughter ensued Friday evening in Goldwin Smith Hall as Sarah Katherine Lewis, a feminist and author of the book Sex and Bacon, gave a personal anecdote about her first job in the sex industry as a lingerie model in the lecture “Sex & Bacon: Why We Love The Things That Are Very ‘Bad’ For Us.”

“I was pretty naïve when I started; I actually thought the job was modeling lingerie,” she said. She was surprised when she discovered her new job required her coyly to entertain customers albeit with no nudity.

Before her debut in the sex industry, Lewis worked various minimum wage jobs. She realized, however, that she could find no time to write, adding, “All I wanted to do was write.”

Even as a little kid, I always knew I was different from everyone else. While most children played with blocks and video games, I would spend hours chasing my dog in the backyard on all fours. My first word was “woof,” and I wasn’t house broken until I was five years old. To this day, old issues of The Sun line the floor of my room. Most disconcerting to my parents, however, was that I had the unhygienic habit of cleaning myself with my tongue and then greeting their business associates with licks on their faces.

Take a deep breath and prepare for this.

ANAL SEX.

There. I said it. People have it. For a sizeable chunk of the population, it’s the preferred method of doin’ the dirty. And if you didn’t know yet, plenty of straight folks are enjoying the devilish act of sodomizing their lovers in ever-increasing amounts. So now, please, as a community, can we get over it and move on?

… No? Oh, all right.

But if we’re gonna talk about butt-lovin’, we have to at least mention the “eeew!” factor and HOW RIDICULOUS IT IS THAT THERE IS STILL AN EW FACTOR.