Later this year, the Supreme Court will announce a decision impacting the ability of the Federal Communications Commission to regulate single utterances of swear words on broadcast television. This case, Fox Television v. FCC, is ultimately a matter of administrative law, the body of law that provides a framework for the existence and operation of our federal agencies; consequently, the Court may well not need to reach the constitutional question lurking in the background. That said, the ability of the government to keep swearing off the air during peak viewing hours (6 a.m. – 10 p.m.) will reach the Court soon; beyond that, it certainly makes for a good debate.

The television tells me no one has any money and I believe them because they play me a particularly persuasive montage of FOR SALE signs and deserted malls and confused-looking homeless people. This is the first recession (or worse?) brought to you with FULL TEAM COVERAGE — we can watch it live, in hi-definition, every minute of every day. It’s like the Olympics but with an exponentially longer, yet untraceable tape delay. We can watch banks turn away outstretched hands, bankrupt auto executives weep in $XXXX suits, foreclosed houses overrun with tumbleweeds and bobcats and fat Midwestern-looking factory workers moving what appear to be levers.

In today’s job market, many of us are probably rethinking our career goals. Prostitution may or may not have occurred to you as an option, but we’d be lying if we said it hadn’t occurred to us. These days, you can see a highly debated version of the high class prostitute lifestyle, one very different from Julia Roberts’ fairy tale, on Showtime’s series Secret Diary of a Call Girl, starring Billy Piper, which is based on the true-life confessions of Belle de Jour, a call girl-turned-writer in London. Although Belle’s actual identity is kept secret, London’s most (in)famous call girl agreed to chat with The Sun about prostitution, her university days and how she would have made Twilight differently.

Gossip Girl is alluring and utterly addicting. Desperate Housewives, despite Eva Longoria’s recent departure from modelesque glamour and Teri Hatcher’s ever-escalating ability to irritate me (though she used to be my favorite) will always hold a special place in my heart. I hear Lost is fantastic and that The Office is the best thing that’s ever happened to NBC (no, I would not know this from personal viewing experience — please don’t hurt me). As for Grey’s Anatomy, in my opinion if it hopes to be remembered as anything at all, its best bet would be to go off the air immediately. Although a friend recently told me that something amazing just happened with Izzy, I’m going to have to say that it’s too little, too late.

Around this time last year, I was unbelievably sad. No, not because the semester was starting back up again, but because my usual favorite thing about late January, new and returning mid-season shows, would not come to pass because of that horrible period you might recall as The Writer’s Strike (though I prefer the name “Oh Hello, Boredom! Yes, please, come, hang out with us for three months, seven days and some-odd hours.”)

Thankfully, that’s long gone, and therefore I can happily guide you in all the good and bad returning and new shows of mid-season 2009, (or what I’d rather call, “Tata, Boredom! It’s been swell — NOT. Don’t let the door hit you on your monotonous behind on the way out.” Am I being silly? Yes, I am, but that’s the-return-of-TV joy for you.