It may be March, but as far as Ithaca is concerned, we still have another month and a half of winter in front of us — I’m going crazy. After all, there really isn’t any in-season fruit. Sure, Wegmans may try to convince us with price breaks that navel oranges from the sunnier parts of the country are rolling to idling 18 wheelers in what could only be described as a bumper crop.

March is the time of year for crates of clementines that disappear quickly at first, but soon reach a stable, albeit slightly moldy, equilibrium of a few less-choice samples. A glance into the average refrigerator today turns up some limp carrots and celery stalks and perhaps a sad-looking head of iceberg lettuce.

This is from an anonymous person, named Rebecca Weiss.

9:43 a.m. — Wake up. Find inexplicable patches of dry skin on arms when I get dressed. Think they may be from cold weather shock after coming home from California. Find one in particular on inside of left elbow. Consider that someone may have injected heroin into me in my sleep. Continue getting dressed.

“Now is the winter of our discontent.” Well, it is winter, and though Shakespeare was astute about a lot of things, there are two he clearly failed to consider about this winter, both of which minimize discontent. First, the awesome dressing opportunities winter presents, and second, the momentous occasion taking place today, not to mention my first and probably only inauguration day press appearance ever (Go Obama!) For more information about number one, read on. For more about number two, tune in to CNN.

As I am writing this in Libe café — shoutout to all my fellow Libe-addicts — it is becoming increasingly snowy and cold outside. I am fortunately not out there, but I will be soon. And, because I was silly enough to believe the weather report, I am not wearing those singularly excellent and necessary winter items this column is about: boots. I have boots, and boots that I like, but I was trying to get an extra day of not-boots in before winter set in completely. My goal in this column is to help you find one (or more!) pair of boots that can bring you through the winter without feeling bored or uncomfortable.

The first thing we need to examine, as always, is utility. Why do we wear boots?

(1) They keep you warm.

(2) They keep you dry.

(3)They keep pants dry/clean.

It’s 11:00 on a Tuesday night. Ensconced in the velour of my most comfortable robe, I lounge about my sofa, soothed by Burt Bacharach’s mellow tenor. Scented candles bathe my room in muted light and aromas of French vanilla. My roommate is at his girlfriend’s, and I have the place all to myself. The mood is perfect for my date with myself.