To further the discussion on free speech and if it should have any limits at all, here at H&V we would like to demonstrate what censorship really looks like. Clearly, there is no black or white solution to this issue, and the panels throughout the week discussing the topic exemplify that there is no consensus across the political spectrum on the matter. For the record, at H&V we deem the First Amendment HEROIC for all eternity. We also wish that there were some sort of imaginary lever that people could use on abusers of free speech that, when pulled, would splatter green gak all over said offender a la Nickelodeon's You Can't Do That On Television (circa early 1990s). But if there aren't enough funds allocated to build such a contraption, there's always the good, old-fashioned burlap sack with accompanying hammers.
Though there are too many of them to name here, the HEROIC panelists at the two censorship debate forums that were held on Monday and Wednesday nights, entitled "Censor This: A Panel Discussion on When, If Ever, Limits on the Press Are Appropriate" and "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death," respectively, gave [CENSORED] entertainment a run for its money. Insults were hurled, fights broke out and people were [CENSORED] in ambulances before peace was finally brokered. Just kidding, that never happened. But seriously, the panels were as exciting as [CENSORED] [CENSORED] clowns in [CENSORED] with [CENSORED] on top of [CENSORED] pool cues [CENSORED] with hair wax.
What is not funny is the trend of teaching the [CENSORED] theory of intelligent design in public classrooms, and HEROIC Interim President Hunter R. Rawlings III made this point clear in his State of the University address last Friday. Though the speech may have been HEROIC, holding it at 8:45 a.m. was most definitely VILLAINOUSLY [CENSORED]. The speech was obviously not meant for student ears, as no [CENSORED] Cornell undergrad wakes up before 11 a.m. on any given Friday. Yay for the HEROIC bars! Yay for [CENSORED]!
Though not giving a University-wide address, HEROIC National Public Radio media reporter David Folkenflik '91 spoke to students throughout the week as a guest of Alice Cook House. Folkenflik, who bears a HEROIC resemblance to Joel Stein of I Love the '80s fame, is HEROIC for taking on [CENSORED] Geraldo Rivera in 2001 as a writer for The Baltimore Sun, and (even more importantly) - get ready for shameless self-aggrandizing here - being the former Editor in Chief of Cornell's own Sun. Here at H&V, we love when our alumni come back for a visit. And we love it even more if they can boast taking down a [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] talk show host in their years beyond Cornell.
And don't get us started on the VILLAINOUS [CENSORED].
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