Recent Updates by Topic

Popular Opinion Pieces

Op-Ed

Breaking Ties

Print: Email: Share:

Don't Miss Out

Last week was a rough week. I ended an intimate, four-year relationship, and it’s been a roller coaster of emotions ever since. At first, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Being so attached to something that didn’t exist anymore made me anxious. Without having anyone to call, I was shaken to the core. The denial, anxiety and despair I first felt, however, subsided after several days. It was difficult, but I found myself quickly adjusting to life as it was before my relationship began — when things were quieter, simpler and less chaotic. Several days passed, and I even began to feel liberated; for once, I was free of all attachments, and my mind was clear. It was like a whole new me had developed in just a few days and, by the end of the week, I’d never felt better. Yes, my cell phone and I shared an intense four years together, joined at the ear. But now it’s over. And I’m happy.

My little black Verizon flip-phone broke when my housemate accidentally dropped it in the toilet (long story). I made a bold move and decided not to replace it for a little while. This was a tough decision, considering how attached I’ve always been to the little sucker, but I was curious to see if I could survive a day without it. And I can! While not talking on my cell phone, I had a chance to do some serious thinking about our generation’s lifestyle choices. And I identified several things that are wrong, particularly with our severe addiction to being constantly connected to one another.

Granted, the ubiquitous connection that cell-phones create with family and friends is useful. Making, changing and canceling plans has never been easier. We’re also able to find out urgent information instantaneously when we’re in a bind. There’s no doubt that cell-phones provide us with incredible conveniences — but those conveniences come at a high price.

Etiquette, for example, is one thing that has been seriously compromised as a result of our chatting habits. These days, we probably spend as much time talking to people who aren’t physically near us as those who are. And the people who are around tend to get shafted while we chatter into our cell-phones.

Some rules are clear: when you’re in class, at a movie or at the library, phones should be turned off or silenced. (Not that a day goes by when everyone actually adheres to these “clear” rules.) But other rules regarding cell-phone etiquette have yet to be established. Is “vibrate” an acceptable setting for the aforementioned venues? It depends. Hearing a constant buzz resonate from the desk next to me at Olin Library, or while I’m in class, might be even more irritating than the occasional full-volume ring of “Sexy Back.” Is it rude to answer your cell phone if it rings while you’re walking next to, or eating lunch with, a friend? That also depends. How close are you to the friend with whom you’re walking/eating? And how pressing is the phone call? There are also a slew of debatable manners regarding when it’s appropriate to ignore a call and what is an acceptable time frame for calling back. No one really knows the answers, and until the Razr comes with an etiquette manual included, we’ll all just continue to be rude.

During my blissful few days without a cell phone, I was completely extricated from such debates. There was no switching of phone settings, no ignoring of calls and no unwanted interruptions in my day. Can you imagine how jovial East Avenue would be between classes if pedestrians said hello to each other rather than to the battery-operated contraptions attached to their ears?

This brings me to my second qualm: although cell-phones put us in touch with each other, they seem to put us out of touch with ourselves and the outside world. Although they are intended to serve as a convenience, overuse of phones ultimately serves as a distraction, preventing us from focusing on more important matters.

For example, the fifteen minutes we have between classes could be spent clearing our heads, being alone with our thoughts or maybe even enjoying the fall foliage. But we’re incessantly chatting away with friends and parents instead. Some of us are even text messaging and walking simultaneously — a multi-task that has led to embarrassing mishaps on more than one occasion. (Trust me; I know.) Our crack-like addiction to staying connected has made us lose the ability to be alone — and just be — even for a minute. Now, deep thought and introspection are foreign activities that make us uncomfortable. We avoid them by perpetuating the vicious cycle, cluttering our minds with IM’s and text messages once again.

Technological distractions have not only estranged us from ourselves, but from the world outside our social bubbles. If you have twenty minutes to spare at your computer, for example, you could read up on daily news. Or, you could check out your friend’s Halloween photos on Facebook. It’s obvious that we’d all choose Facebook — which is why, although I may not be well-versed in world affairs, I’m certainly up-to-date about which girls wrote on Mr. Cute Football Player’s wall in the past 48 hours. If you put down your cell phone for a day or are weaned away from Facebook, you’d be amazed at how much free time you suddenly have to check out the news. Perhaps you’d be less in-touch with your cronies, but you’d certainly be more in-touch with the world.

My proposed solution to our problem is simple: a campus-wide detoxification day in which everyone leaves their cell phones at home. We’ll pick a date and see how it goes. Hey — I survived my messy break-up after four solid years of intimacy with my phone. I’m willing to bet that you could make it through temporary separation for 24 hours.

Missy Kurzweil is a senior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. She can be contacted at mek37@cornell.edu. Don’t Miss Out appears Thursdays.

• Add new comment
• Printer-friendly version
• send to friend