It only just hit me last night that the year was almost over. Seriously, five days of classes (well, really four) and I will never again have to get up and go to that 9:05 a.m. section. I have no idea how the year flew by so fast, but to attempt to make sense of it all, I thought it would be appropriate that my last column for the year take a look back at the important developments of the school year. Get ready to feel old.

On July 21 (ok, so this doesn’t really count as part of the school year but I have to mention it) Harry Potter dorks around the world united for the release of the seventh and final book in the Harry Potter Series. SPOILER ALERT: All was set right in the world when Ginny and Harry, and Hermione and Ron ended up together, naming their children after dead members of the Order of the Phoenix.

The Bush Administration took a serious hit on Aug. 31, when George Bush lost his mind! (Not that this would affect the way that this country was being run.) No, no, he did not go crazy, he literally lost his mind when Karl “Puppetmaster” Rove resigned. Four days earlier, U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales also announced his resignation amidst controversy regarding the unfounded firing of seven US attorneys in 2006, who had been singled out the Bush Administration. Rumors had emerged that these attorneys were sought out so that they could be replaced by stronger supporters of the Republican party.

I don’t know about you, but when I think of a monk I think of that really fat statue of a smiling chubby Buddha. This year changed that, as monks began protesting in September of 2007 in Myanmar (known as Burma back in my day) against the oppressive military government. The protests were drawn out and grew very violent, resulting in what the government claims to be the detainment of 2,900 people.

The monks have been at it again as the 2008 Beijing Olympics (clap for me!) are fast approaching. March of 2008 saw some of the most intense Tibetan monk protests in almost two decades, and that’s saying something.

Fury erupted across the U.S. after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was invited to speak at Columbia University on September 24, 2007, allowing us a rare opportunity inside this political genius’ mind. Take, for example, his statement: “In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country … I don't know who's told you that we have this.” Priceless, you just can’t write jokes like that. What made his visit even more exciting was the Jerry Springer-esque façade this Ivy League speech assumed, when Columbia President Lee Bollinger began to take some very unprofessional jabs at his guest, saying “You are either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated.” Now why can’t Skorton be more like that? No fun.

Benazir Bhutto, former Pakistani Prime Minister and head of the Pakistani Peoples Party, was assassinated on December 27, 2007 as she was standing outside of the sun roof of her bulletproof vehicle. Maybe NOT the best idea when several other attempts at your life had been made a few days earlier. Controversy since emerged as to how Bhutto was killed, whether by gun shot, explosives or even a concussion as she tried to duck back into her vehicle.

Al Gore won! No, I’m not talking about the popular vote. Gore along with the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize as well as two Oscars for the documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.” Thanks to Gore, pretty much everyone in the world, except for those home-schooling Evangelicals, is aware of Global Warning and that New York City will be underwater by 2100.

Every year deserves its celebrity highlight. Last year it was when Anna Nicole Smith died and Britney Spears shaved her head all in the same week. In 2008, much to the dismay of teenage girls everywhere, it was Heath Ledger who bit the dust, and, would you believe it, not from a drug overdose (and by this I mean not one drug in particular), but rather from taking six different prescription drugs at the same time. Many “10 Things I Hate About You” marathons ensued.

Ah, Eliot Spitzer. What can we say about former NYS Governor Spitzer? As we all know, the guv’ resigned on March 12 after being involved in a scandal in which he allegedly spent over $80,000 on prostitutes. $80,000? That is A LOT of ... um … money. Though Spitzer effectively ended his career with this scandal, Miss Ashley Alexandra Dupre, an aspiring singer-songwriter and a Spitzer regular, jumpstarted hers, earning what is believed to be over $1 million after two of her songs were downloaded off the Internet. That, dear friends, is what F. Scott Fitzgerald meant by the American Dream.

Finally, I felt it appropriate to end with two events that have been omnipresent throughout the school year. To quote the renowned French-Canadian intellectual Celine Dion, two things in life are inevitable: “rain and tax.” Don’t believe me? Listen to what is probably her worst song ever, appropriately titled “Rain, Tax (It’s Inevitable)” — or rather don’t and spare yourself 3 minutes and 25 seconds of cruel and unusual punishment.

Anyway, like rain and tax, two things were inevitable this school year: Iraq and the 2008 elections.

Those who had hoped that this year would see the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq were sadly disappointed — instead, in the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq passed the 4,000 threshold. Also, every year needs to have an Iraq Scandal. First it was Jessica Lynch, then it was Abu Ghraib; this year it was Blackwater. On Sept.17, personnel from the private U.S. security organization Blackwater Worldwide were accused of murder when they shot and killed 17 innocent Iraqi civilians.

On a happier note, the 2008 election has turned into quite the battle. I don’t know if it’s because I can vote now, but these elections seem to have gotten significantly more exciting: we’ve got a black man, a woman and a corpse all running for the presidency! In order to best determine which Democratic candidate should win the highly sacred and esteemed nomination, we have reverted to such tactics as exploiting Obama’s middle name and analyzing Clinton’s cleavage. Hucktown, anyone?

Nora Choueiri is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be contacted at nchoueiri@cornellsun.com. A Helping of Hummus appears alternate Mondays.