Trojan Condoms just gave Cornell a giant pat on the back.

This year, the University placed third on Trojan’s 2008 Sexual Health Report Card, moving up from 63rd in last year’s assessment.

But hold your horses. The ranking had nothing to do with the sexual health standards of the student body. Rather, it was more an evaluation of the sexual health resources made available to students on campus. Considered in the ranking were health services like anonymous advice via email and sexual assault programs. Factors like the usability of Gannett Health Services website were also considered. And the plethora of condoms and lubricant packages dispersed like candy beside bins of multi-flavored lollypops probably didn’t hurt.

The news bodes well for Gannett, whose services became the object of scrutiny amidst last year’s syphilis scare.

But what does the ranking really tell us? Yes, a myriad of sexual health services are available to Cornellians. And Gannett’s super user-friendly website relays the information to us in the comfort of our own homes. Still, we need to ask ourselves what it is that the average Cornellian needs from Gannett.

Over the last few months of this election season, the media has referred time and again to the 3 o’clock phone call. The idea: It’s 3 a.m. and the world is in crisis. Which candidate do you want answering the phone?

Let’s apply that same logic to C.U. It’s 3 a.m. and you just had unprotected sex. What do you need when you pick up the phone to call your healthcare provider?

‘Testing’ would be the answer.

And that’s just the problem. Because while Gannett offers almost every kind of STI test in the books, a complete examination can end up costing a pretty penny. Unless a student actually shows symptoms, he or she is responsible for covering the costs of blood tests, urine samples, pelvic swabs and all the rest.

Think you might have herpes but aren’t showing symptoms? Get ready to cough up between $100 and $200 to find out for sure. Chlamydia or gonorrhea? Those tests will be around $30 a pop.

It’s not that we can blame Gannett for all of this. Many of these tests used to be covered for Cornell students. It was state-wide funding cutbacks, and not an administrative decision at Gannett, that led to the change.

Still, it seems as though these services are important enough that Cornell should be stepping in. If you’re a responsible student trying to stay on the safe side, you should never have to feel like getting tested for STIs is a cost prohibitive activity.

This is something that concerns the health of the student body. So at the end of the day, responsibility for providing affordable testing should fall on the administration, with additional efforts made by the Student Assembly. Funding free testing clinics with portions from the student activity fee, for example, would be a feasible option.

Yes, we should be congratulating our school for all that it’s doing to mobilize sexual health resources on the students’ behalf. But until quick and affordable STI testing is available for every student, we should hold off on the celebration.