Blow Me!

Professor: If you blow, you suck.

— MAE 323 Fluids class

Not the Sharpest Tool on the Team

Male Athlete: So what do you have to get on your SATs if you’re like ... not an athlete?

Girl: Um ... [awkward silence]

— Ho Plaza

Engineers Get Their Kicks

Male Engineer: I will kick him so hard, one day he will have to analyze my kick with Matlab to fully understand it.

— Hollister Hall

Neighborly Love

Neighbor (discussing neighbors): Alls they do is curse and threaten to divorce each other.

Neighbors (shouting): What the f***?! F*** you!!!

— Collegetown

Double Penetration

Guy 1: Dude, we gotta get some D.P.!

Guy 2: What?!?! ... oh ... Dr. Pepper ...

— West Campus

Pretty (Damn Ugly) Woman

Guy (showing someone around Cornell) : The pretty boys, like, all two of them, are almost prettier than the girls in engineering!

— Between Olin and Uris