Sun Blogs: The TV Yogi
Oh, Kristin Chenoweth, How We Have Missed You
October 5, 2009 - 11:00pmIf you love Kristin Chenoweth, clap your hands! I better hear that clapping all the way in the gothics, because no one can’t love her! She was unbelievable on Pushing Daisies, adorable at the Emmys and she was dynamite tonight as a boozy alcoholic by the name of April Rhodes. She’s like the female equivalent of Neil Patrick Harris: She can do no wrong.
But enough with the worshipping, because there was a show. Our original “Don’t Stop Believing” was back, only this time, singing Rachel’s part was the very nauseous Quinn. This gets Will thinking — why wasn’t Terri getting sick? It’s about time, Will! Sadly, his suspicions were sidetracked when he recognized his waiter at the restaurant as one of his ex-students, who apparently is still in high school at the young age of 24 because the school is failing him on purpose so he can still sing for them. Isn’t that illegal? But it gives Will an idea…
Enter April Rhodes. Well, first Will had to solicit Emma’s help into tracking her down. The uber-famous singer of Glee club was 3 credits short of graduating. So what the hey?! Bring her back to high school like Flava Flav’s new reality show! (If I was a student, I’d be lookin’ at that clock around his neck every five seconds to see how much longer I had). Will’s excited about this, because he idolized her in high school and she was the reason he joined Glee Club in the first place. And when he saw her fancy house, he was impressed. Too bad it wasn’t her house. April was a squatter! Like the good guy that Will is, he convinced her to put down her box of wine and go back to high school (isn’t that a song from Grease?).
Emma, meanwhile, was actually doing her job and advising Finn. Although she was clearly telling Finn that she knew about the pregnancy, Finn, not being too bright, did not catch on. She did manage to convince him that he could get a scholarship for sticking with Glee Club (good). But he had to convince Rachel to come back to Glee (Ok). He decided to go about this by seducing her (bad). So operation Seduce Rachel was in full effect. After almost being blackmailed by the school reporter (“Show me them ‘sweater puppies’”) and then saved by Sandy (“Have you ever hung out at a stable?” He asked like the creeper he is), Finn came and offered to run lines with her somewhere quiet, with low lighting. Wrong Finn, wrong!
Back to April, who really stomped the classroom, so to speak, with her rendition of “Maybe This Time,” as a camera cut between her and Rachel performing on stage. She was amazing, reaching notes even Josh Groban would be scared to attempt. But the kids weren’t impressed. So, Will approached her with the request of trying to fit in with the kids. Cue the video montage! This included April introducing Kurt to alcohol and 70’s vintage muscle magazines, teaching Mercedes and Tina how to shoplift by stuffing things up their skirt (“I once snuck a birthday cake out of a birthday party with the candles on fire”) and having a threesome with Puck and his roommate in the locker room shower (Ewwww). Suddenly, April was the cool girl in school.
Finn was still pressuring Rachel like a Bible salesman:
“Do you know what we should do?”
“Elope?”
Nope, Rachel. Finn wanted to go bowling. Because nothing says sexy like bowling.
And then something horribly funny happened. Kurt showed up to school completely wasted, called poor Emma ‘Bambi,’ confessed that he cried when Bambi’s mother was shot (who doesn’t cry during that scene?) and puked. On Emma. She wasn’t happy, especially since she’s OCD. She marched up to Will and told him about Kurt. "He's not really ‘fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not a fake ID. He looks like an 11-year-old milkmaid." Will knew what he had to do, which leads me to ask:
Why do people think that bowling will solve all of their problems? First off, what was Rachel wearing? It was hideous. It was like a sailor and a designer from Limited Too were paired up in a horrible episode of Project Runway. But I digress. Two lanes away from Rachel and Finn were Will and April — who was high on horse tranquilizers. Long story short, Will and April karaoked “Alone” even though it was Bingo night. But the gamblers seemed to enjoy Will’s “dream come true.” Oh, and when Rachel got a strike, she kissed Finn. He looked conflicted, but he didn’t push her away. Instead, he told her to come back to Glee and she accepted in a way that made it sound like she actually believed the eloping thing. Poor Rachel…
Even worse off is Quinn. The Glee kids know, thanks to Puck, that Quinn is “preggers.” And when Rachel made her big return to Glee and didn’t know why noone is making a big deal, she found out the truth. Take a moment to put yourself in her shoes — how awful would you feel? Me, I’d personally, um … well I’d better not put that down in writing. So like a costume change during a Cher concert, Rachel quit Glee and ran back to the cabaret.
My big qualm with this episode: Why was Sue only in one scene, when she ripped down Glee Club posters (which was pretty hilarious)? She gave Rachel full “creative rights” over the show because "When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was first aroused, then furious."
Big dance scene of the night: Glee Club’s first invitational to the Carrie Underwood’s “Last Name.” April was drunk, but still incredible! Kudos for Kristin for making drunk so good. Why can’t drunk people normally sound like that instead of stumbling and hiccupping through a round of “New York, New York?” However, April can’t stick around forever because Kristin is only a special guest. So during intermission, she left because she wanted to give the kids a chance to shine. But who would sing for the second act?
Rachel stepped up as April’s understudy because she couldn’t let her friends down. And she quit the play. Again. The back and forth is annoying me, so listen up, Rachel: Stay in one place. Please! But she did a great job with “Somebody to Love.”
Next week, my fellow Gleeks, the episode is going to have more drama then an episode of Gossip Girl: Sue tells Terri that something is going on between Emma and Will, and she gets a job as the school nurse to keep an eye on them.