Everything the Light Touches

Parent: Does Cornell own all of that too?

Student: No, thas Ithaca.

— On top of Libe Slope

I Hope They at Least Showed Their Work

Chick on Cell Phone: So did you circle your answers?

[Pause]

Chick on Cell Phone: Well, if you didn’t circle your answers ...

— Ag Quad

Math < User Friendly

Gadget Girl: I don’t understand why I’m doing bad in this math class. I mean, I can set up BBM on anyone’s phone, and that’s complicated.

— Outside of Uris Hall

That’s (Not) the Spirit

Drunk girl: Where’s the big pinot? I need the big pinot! No, not the

small pinot, the big pinot!

— Collegetown Liquor

That Is Quite An Eye-Lashing

Confused Dude: I can’t tell if that girl has bad makeup or two black eyes.

— PriceChopper

Part(y) Time Teacher

Substitute Teacher: I went to college for sex, drugs and rock and roll. I don’t remember half my undergraduate education.

— Intro to Macro class

Red Tide of Relief

Female Einstein: You can’t take a pregnancy test on the day of your period; it just comes out negative.

— Comm 220 class